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(Using at least 350 words) In your own words, please describe five OR MORE of the most important points you learned from this course AND how you will use them in your life and/or as a metaphysician.

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Thomas Francis University • Course G150 • Segment 1

THE ART OF SUCCESS

—Douglas R. Kelley, PhD, CH, CSL

Updated: September 28, 2015

Upon Completion of this Segment, You Will Know:

 What success is and what it is not.

 Three areas of balanced success.

 The ultimate definition of success in all things.

 25 characteristics of success based on observing many successful people.

 How to increase your personal net asset value (PNAV).

 Why it’s never too late to start being successful.

Do what you should do, when you should do it.

— Adapted from a quote by Thomas H. Huxley

ne day a wealthy man took his son on a trip to the countryside where he could show him

how poor people lived. They spent a day and a night with a very poor family. When they

got back from their trip the man asked his son, “So, how did you like the trip?”

“It was great Dad!” cried his son.

“Did you see how poor people can be?” his father asked.

“Yeah!” said his son.

“And what did you learn?” asked his father.

The son answered, “I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that

extends to the middle of the garden; they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in

the garden, and they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard, they have the whole horizon.

Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are!”

His father was speechless.1

1 Author unknown. A search for the author was unsuccessful.

Segment 1: The Art of Success

This popular story well illustrates the true nature of success. What one person calls success,

another may not. Isn’t it true that success depends on the way we look at things?

WHAT SUCCESS IS AND WHAT IT IS NOT

One time I asked my wife, Tracy, how she would define success. I was impressed with what she

told me:

Success means knowing that you tried your best to accomplish something despite your

fears, doubts, and lack of guaranteed assurance that it would succeed. Success is know-

ing in your heart that the journey will be worthwhile regardless of the outcome. Success

is being able to go to sleep at night knowing you did your best that day to be a good

parent, husband, wife, brother, sister, or friend. Success means never gnawing over past

mistakes—only resolving to not repeat them. Success is knowing that you have grown as

a person this day, and will do so every day. If you have a positive impact on even one

other person’s life, you are a success.

She then added:

Success is not limited to material acquisitions. While we have an obligation to provide

material comforts for our family, success can never be measured by such standards. The

expensive houses, cars, clothes, and jewelry everyone owns could all be removed in an

instant—through an act of nature or some freak accident. But when the people around

us—friends and family—can honestly say that their lives are better with us in it, that is

a gift and measure of success no person on this earth can tamper with, just as no person

on earth can give us that gift if we haven’t earned it by the way we live.

What a delightful description of what success is and is not! It is important that we do not view

success in a purely monetary light. There is much more to true success than money or career ad-

vancement. True success covers every aspect of our life, engenders happiness, and is directly related

to the meaning in our life.

Measuring success can be likened to the gauges on the dashboard of a car. Which gauge would you

say is the most important? Most people answer, “The fuel gauge.” However, is this really true? What

happens if you have a full tank, but your engine overheats or the oil pressure drops? It is plain to see

that all of the gauges are important because each one tells you something different about the oper-

ation of your vehicle. The same is true concerning our success. Each successful area of our lives tells

us something different about our overall success. For example, if we are financially successful be-

cause of working long hours but our close relationships are falling apart as a result, could we truly

say that we are successful in life? Without balanced success, life’s meaning fades. To be truly suc-

cessful, we should pursue balanced success in three primary areas, Consciousness and Spirituality,

Relationships, and Financially. Take a closer look at all three.

1) Consciousness and Spirituality. Spiritual success in conjunction with consciousness is the most

important of the three areas to finding meaning and success in life. It involves all types of success

that do not fall into the Relationship or Financial realm; however, all three areas are intercon-

nected. Spiritual success is about growing and evolving as a human being toward a higher state of

Segment 1: The Art of Success

consciousness. It means giving more than you take, and helping others as you are able. It is opening

your heart to embrace compassion for all humanity.

We achieve success in consciousness by stretching our “mental muscles” frequently to avoid

mental atrophy. We stretch our mind by increasing our knowledge in our careers or other pursuits,

as well as searching for creative answers to life’s puzzling questions.

Spiritual success demands embracing life’s battles head on, and coming through victorious. It

means raising children to the best of our ability, and helping them to be well-adjusted adults. The

greater our spiritual success, the further greatness we will have to deliver and the more meaning

we will find in life.

2) Relationships. Relationships have been discussed at length in previous courses and it is obvious

that our relationships can add to or subtract from our success and enjoyment of life. This area

should not be overlooked in your efforts to be successful.

3) Financially. This is the traditional area people usually refer to when talking about success.

Financial success obviously includes business and career success. It also includes successful and

honest money/asset management. While financial success should not be minimized, it needs to be

understood in perspective. Think about this: If we were dying from an illness, would our money

be of any real importance beyond paying the medical bills? What good is money if we are dying?

In such a tragic situation as dying, the only things that really matter are our family and friends,

how we lived, and the contribution that we made to humanity while we were able.

Part of success in life is knowing where to draw the line between the truly important things and

the truly unimportant things. To be truly successful in life, we must be successful in all three areas

in a balanced way.

ONE OF LIFE’S GREATEST LESSONS

Among the greatest of all the noble lessons in life is reflected in the segment quote above by

Thomas H. Huxley. “Do what you should do, when you should do it.” There are simply no truer words

when it comes to being successful in anything. This fundamental principle applies regardless of the

endeavor or the journey. Whether making a living, completing a project, or just living successfully

from day to day, this principle applies. This is one of the first principles that we should teach our

children as they grow. And as they learn to make application of this life-principle, they will be better

positioned to make a success of their lives.

If we meditate upon this principle, we begin to see just how much sense it makes. We can have

guaranteed success in anything we attempt if we do what ought to be done and at the time it should

be done. The biggest challenge here, of course, is knowing exactly what should be done, and/or when

we should do it. I wish I had a magical technique to share with you so you would know, but I do not.

Knowing the what and the when is something that comes with age, intuition, and experience. But

strictly speaking, by doing the right thing at the right time, we will achieve our objective. We should

make every effort to become better in determining the “what” and “when” aspects.

In addition to the segment quote by Huxley, my other favorite definition of success is: “Being able

to do what you want, when you want to a reasonable degree.” We really need to be financially secure

Segment 1: The Art of Success

to make this work. And by financially secure, I mean the ability to go month to month without wor-

rying about how we’ll make it financially and with enough money left over so we can reasonably do

what we want, when we want. The next course of this series, Metaphysical Laws of Attraction, will

explore money-related matters.

CHARACTERISTICS OF SUCCESS

For well over two decades, I have been keenly interested in why certain people are successful and

others are not. In searching for answers to success, I have asked many people what made them suc-

cessful. Very few could tell me what made them successful; they just seem to know what to do

instinctively, which is so often the case. So, I took it upon myself to make a study of my own to see

what I would find. The following 25 traits and characteristics of successful people are what I discov-

ered. Not every person had every quality in full measure, but they all possessed all of the qualities

to one degree or another. Interestingly, I found that these characteristics transcend monetary and

financial boundaries into all aspects of success in life.

1) Successful People Do What They Love and Love What They Do. Successful people know what

they want from life. They have a driving reason to get up in the morning. They thoroughly enjoy

doing what they have chosen, whether a career, volunteer work, or a hobby. This is perhaps the

most fundamental trait of success, because when you love what you do, you find that motivation

is usually strong, and success usually follows.

2) Successful People Have a Plan for Living. Successful people have a life vision in addition to a

Plan for Living. They see very clearly the goals and objectives for which they strive. They regu-

larly update their life plan so it is always fresh and current regarding changing circumstances.

Without a Plan for Living, the best we can hope for is to wander aimlessly through life. A Plan

for Living simply encompasses laying out your spiritual, physical, and financial goals.

3) Successful People Manage Their Lives and Their Time. They are not enslaved to too many

things. They recognize that having too many demands actually is no different than being taken

hostage. Since successful people manage themselves well, they put necessary boundaries on their

precious time. They understand that each one of us is credited with exactly 168 hours per week—

no more, no less. How each person uses that allotted time contributes to, or steals away from

his or her success. They use their time wisely for worthwhile pursuits, such as family, career/busi-

ness, and personal.

4) Successful People Know Themselves Well. They endeavor to be the master of their own ship.

They know their own strengths and weaknesses, and adjust their course accordingly. They use

whatever gifts they possess to perpetuate their success. They know themselves well enough to

avoid patterns and approaches in which they are weak, and exploit those in which they are

strong.

5) Successful People Invest in Themselves. They are always looking for ways to improve their

knowledge and understanding of the universe, life, and career. They take advantage of seminars,

workshops, and training in areas of deficiency. They realize they will never know it all, but this

doesn’t dissuade them from trying.

6) Successful People Have Confidence in Themselves and the Value They Offer. Their amazing

confidence shows itself in all they do, whether walking, talking, helping someone, or anything

Segment 1: The Art of Success

else. Their confidence is a product of their healthy self-esteem (not them-esteem). Sometimes

their confidence may come off to certain other people as arrogance or superiority, but it has

nothing to do with such things. I have found that people who have little or no self-esteem are

often threatened by others who are self-confident.

7) Successful People Are Leaders. As a rule, successful people are leaders and achievers, not fol-

lowers. While successful people entertain different perspectives from others, they use critical

thinking skills to make their own decisions. They are not afraid to lead the way into uncharted

territory. Sometimes others follow, sometimes they don’t. But it makes little difference to a

successful person who is used to the loneliness that being a leader and pioneer sometimes brings.

8) Successful People Are Problem-Solvers. They tackle problems with intelligence and emotional-

detachment. They look for creative solutions to problems, and don’t dismiss radical alternatives

if necessary (the 180 Principle). Even though they may feel fear at times, they never allow their

fear to prevent them from implementing those alternatives and solutions. They weigh the pros

and cons to any given situation, then make a decision and move forward resolute.

9) Successful People Are Single-Minded. They have a forward focus on their vision; a forward bent.

They even walk with purpose and direction. They possess abundant energy and enthusiasm for

what they do, and life in general. They have forward momentum.

10) Successful People Have Drive. Since they have a clearly defined Life Vision and Plan for Living,

they do not lack motivation—they are driven by their dream. They gain intense satisfaction from

all their endeavors. They create their own luck.

11) Successful People Generally Do What Has to Be Done, When It Has to Be Done. They recognize

and strive to apply this primary law of success in all they do. This in turn, fuels their success,

because they know that to ignore necessary things leads to failure in those endeavors. They apply

the wise words: “When there is a hill to climb, don’t think that waiting will make it smaller”

(Author Unknown).

12) Successful People Take Responsibility for Themselves and Their Success. Successful people

accept personal responsibility for whatever they do, good or bad. When they are successful, they

rightly take credit. When they fail or make a mistake, they accept responsibility without blaming

others. They learn the lesson of their failing, and resume the relentless pursuit of their dream.

13) Successful People Try New Ways and Approaches. Without hesitation, successful people give

up what isn’t working, and look for what will. It is a trial and error process. They exercise fore-

sight and deal with whatever unexpected events occur when they happen. They are never satis-

fied with doing things the same old way when there may be a better way to do it.

They always brainstorm for new and fresh ideas that will work better than before. In my own

experience as a business owner, I always felt that there was the perfect idea lurking out there

somewhere that would add to my success if only I could identify it or pluck it out of the air

somehow. I knew it existed, I just had to uncover it with creative thinking.

14) Successful People Welcome and Embrace Change. They realize and appreciate that change is

inevitable. They know that change must happen if progress is to be made. They appreciate that

with change comes beneficial life lessons. Change keeps them fresh and responsive, and prevents

stagnation. They tune into “change indicators” and trends to stay abreast of their market and

Segment 1: The Art of Success

business. They use change to springboard to ever-greater challenges and successes. Successful

people are open to change and committed to action.

15) Successful People Are Not Afraid to Take Calculated Risks. By taking risks, they refuse to hold

back from shattering any disabling attitudes. They carefully consider the necessary risks of going

a certain direction, but they are not afraid to stick their neck out or go out on a limb if they are

reasonably certain of success (and sometimes even when they aren’t certain of anything!). They

are smart enough to learn from their mistakes. By “Doing what they fear most, they control fear”

(Author Unknown).

16) Successful People Are Committed—They Never “Try;” They “Do”. They know what it means to

be fully committed to their dream. They make things happen and accomplish much. Successful

people “Do or Die;” they don’t “Do or Try.” They don’t know that they cannot succeed, so they

go out and succeed anyway. Oh, they may have moments of uncertainty where they think they

shouldn’t have gone this far, but they don’t listen to those thoughts! In my own business experi-

ence, I am very glad that I didn’t know what I was getting myself into, because if I did, I wouldn’t

have done it, and I would have missed out on many years of intensely beneficial lessons about

life and business.

Elinor Smith, who set several women’s records in early aviation while still in her teens, and

also author of The Aviatrix,1 wrote, “It had long since come to my attention that people of ac-

complishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to

things.” Elinor Smith is a splendid example of living by her own words. She never tried—she did.

17) Successful People Face Life Head-on. They live life as they choose and control their own des-

tiny. They also do what has to be done, regardless of the consequences. Successful people take

life as it comes—head on—bruises and all. And they never let problems or fear cause them to quit

or turnaround from seeing their dreams fulfilled.

18) Successful People Possess “Persistent Resilience.” These qualities enable them to bounce back

after failures and mistakes. They always look at failure as a learning experience, not a barrier.

They deal with failures or setbacks by: 1) retreating, and then 2) regrouping by reassessing them-

selves and the situation, and then 3) attacking again. Through “persistent resilience,” they keep

getting up again and again every time they fall. I have come to know from experience that per-

sistent resilience always wins. Ask yourself: Who is more persistent, me or the problem?

19) Successful People Have Personal Integrity. Two primary qualities of integrity are honesty and

sincerity. Not every successful person is necessarily honest, but truly successful people always

are and they find deep personal satisfaction in knowing this. Moreover, they are sincere in their

efforts; they don’t try to “one-up” or “put something over” on others. In dealing with others,

whether friends or clients, the successful person will inform them of “the good, the bad, and the

ugly” if it concerns the business or personal interests of the other person, but this said, they also

do not offer unsolicited advice. They are above-board with all, and have the other person’s best

interests at heart. Never underestimate the power of integrity. People do business with those

whom they like and trust. If you are trustworthy, then make sure you show it through your hon-

esty and sincerity. If you are not, the people you temporarily deceive will tell everyone they

1 Harcourt Brace, 1981

Segment 1: The Art of Success

know, and whatever success you enjoyed will not only be limited, but it will be devoid of any

substance; simply a veneer covering what really exists inside you.

20) Successful People Make You Feel as if You Are the Most Important Person in the Universe.

Have you ever seen this wonderful quality in a successful person? It’s much more than just an

attitude; it is who they are and what they do. They just seem to shower you with genuine interest

and attention. They look in your eyes when speaking, because their whole interest is on you at

the moment. They are excited to talk to you, which is evident by their vocal tone. Their sincerity

engenders friendship; it pulls you toward them. These people seem to enjoy the favor of almost

everyone, and are well spoken of.

Caution: a danger exists in being artificial. Showing others an intense, but momentary and

superficial interest, may lead them to believe that you like and accept them, but it will backfire.

People will quickly see through moodiness and insincerity. Making others feel important is not a

technique to manipulate people; it’s a way to give back by building others up.

21) Successful People Understand Human Nature. On a business level, successful people know that

their business is simply a means to an end. They recognize that consumers don’t really want

products; they want what the products do for them. For example, people do not want toothpaste;

they want white teeth and a healthy mouth. They don’t want a hypnosis session; they want to

improve something about themselves or connect with their Higher Self. With this understanding,

successful people maintain the right perspective and market in the proper manner.

However, understanding human nature goes much deeper than the products they buy. It in-

volves knowing how to “read” people; knowing what motivates them; understanding how to make

them happy with you or your product; and diligently working to resolve conflicts. It involves

knowing how to get along with others, not insisting on your own way of doing things, but treating

others with dignity, and respect. It means being “down to earth” enough to discern what moti-

vates people to do the things they do. Much is involved in understanding human nature, but it

comes with experience and making an effort to do so. 14 Traits of Human Nature is explored in

Course G140: Metaphysical Psychology.

22) Successful People Are Communicators. You always know where you stand, because successful

people can be taken at face value. They use tact, but don’t beat around the bush. The meaning

of what they say comes through loud and clear because their speech is articulate and easily

understood. They don’t speak condescendingly nor talk over anyone’s head. They take great in-

terest in being communicators and expressing their own thoughts and feelings fluently. They are

“dialed in” when conversing with others. They realize that a vital aspect to communication is

listening; and they listen better than they speak. They put forth every effort to make sure no

misunderstandings occur, but if so, they correct them quickly.

23) Successful People Have Presence of Mind. They are mentally sharp because they exercise their

mind, and consequently, they remember things, like people’s names. They are deep thinkers and

apply that deep thinking to life. They have learned how to use their knowledge and they have a

worldly perspective. They add to their own knowledge by exploring other people’s perspectives

as well as fill in any gaps they discern in themselves.

24) Successful People Have Presence and Presentation. You can always detect a successful person

because they are professional, sophisticated, and charismatic. They are the kind of people that

you notice when they enter a room. They carry themselves well—in a confident manner. They

Segment 1: The Art of Success

have a certain pride in themselves and their physical appearance, such as clothing and grooming.

They are never disheveled. This “presence” comes through self-belief, confidence, and knowing

why they are who they are.

25) Successful People Are Intuitive. One of the most powerful traits of a successful person is his or

her ability to use intuition. Intuition comes from extensive experience in life, from overcoming

difficulties, and from the Higher Self. When endeavoring to expand his or her business (or some

other life matter), the successful person intuitively knows the direction to go. Many times the

only support he or she has that a certain approach will work is simply a “gut feeling.” But suc-

cessful people have come to trust and rely on their intuition, for it rarely fails them. This quality

of intuition is a thing of beauty on their part and a prize to be sought after and acquired.

Please ponder these 25 characteristics of success; look for them in successful people you know;

learn from and emulate these people. Apply the good things you observe in your own life.

INCREASING YOUR PERSONAL NET ASSET VALUE

As alluded to above, successful people develop themselves and are committed to life-long learn-

ing. What are you doing to develop you? One thing you are doing, obviously, is taking this course and

possibly earning your metaphysics doctoral degree.

I love the advice I picked up somewhere along the way to “spend 15 minutes each day learning

something new.” Fifteen minutes is not a long time; it makes learning and development simple, and

if it is simple, we are more likely to do it.

Can you spend 15 minutes a day learning something new in your field? Or 15 minutes a day learning

about how to be a better metaphysician (as you are doing right now)? Or 15 minutes a day learning

about something else that will help you to be a better, more knowledgeable person?

Fifteen minutes a day learning something new can be easy if you get into the habit. I regularly

visit several websites each day to keep up on news in various fields. I invariably find something intri-

guing and then do more research online. This easily swallows up 15 minutes (and longer, if truth be

told!), and I always learn something new that I can apply to my life, profession, or writing.

Fifteen minutes a day equals almost 100 hours each year of time invested in your own development

as a human being. People who spend time refining and developing themselves tend to go more places

in life, attain higher positions in business, and earn a higher income. Can you imagine how it will help

you to deliver greatness to your field?

The objective here is to raise your personal net asset value as well as that of any people you may

oversee or manage. In the financial world, mutual funds carry a “net asset value” or NAV; it is much

like the share price of an individual stock. A mutual fund’s NAV will rise and fall with the market just

as stocks do because mutual funds are made up of many individual stocks (and/or bonds). Obviously,

the higher the market goes, the higher a mutual fund’s NAV will go and the more money you will

make. But if the market falls, so does the value of a mutual fund’s NAV.

Continuing education and personal growth are just like an ever-rising bull market. The more you

learn the higher your personal net asset value or “PNAV” goes. But the beautiful thing is that it never

falls. In other words, the more you learn, the more you know; and the more you know, the better

you’ll be at what you do. Once you learn something new, it can stay with you as long as you wish.

Segment 1: The Art of Success

I readily admit that working on yourself is not always the easiest thing to do—it requires consistent

effort. This is why few people are really serious about improving themselves. They will spend thou-

sands of dollars on “things” and virtually ignore the very thing that will propel them further and

higher in all aspects of their lives and relationships. They just haven’t seen the benefits yet. And

while personal growth takes effort, that effort is well worth it when you consider the broader view

of happiness and fulfillment in life. Motivational speaker Charlie “Tremendous” Jones said, “Your life

will be the same in five years except for the books you read, the tapes you listen to, and the people

you walk with.” We must take responsibility for our own growth.

What I’m really talking about here is to have an attitudinal bent toward growing as a human being.

If you have such an attitude, you will attract like-minded people into your “circle” and it will be

easier for those in your sphere of influence to follow your example. Having a positive and healthy

“growth attitude” will also help you to cull your life of unhealthy people because negative people

are effectively repelled by positive people. As discussed in Course G80: Principles of Empowered

Relationships, like attracts like in human relationships; Unhealthy people attract more unhealthy

people and push away healthy people. Conversely, healthy people attract more healthy people and

push away unhealthy people.

So, can you find a few minutes each day to learn something new? Will you make a commitment to

yourself and continue your personal development by training yourself first? It doesn’t take much to

make a big difference as long as it is consistent and habitual. As motivational speaker, Jim Rohn,

once said, “A college education will earn you an income. Self-education will make you a fortune.”

That “fortune” can, of course, mean any one of several aspects of life.

The following audio program will supplement this discussion as well as draw upon some things we

have discussed in previous courses. It is also a good reminder to continue pondering your mission and

vision statements.

Segment 1 Supplemental Audio: 3 Keys to Personal Development

NOTE: Before proceeding to the next section, please listen to the audio above on

the Course Page for a supplemental discussion of this section. This audio is part of

the course.

IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO START!

No matter what our record of accomplishment has been up until now, it is never too late to start

donning the traits of success! Success is a daily effort and a journey, not an end. Therefore, age

should not matter when we are striving for success.

It is sad when a person feels like they are too old to make any difference. One man I knew told

me a number of times that he was “on the decline,” meaning that he only had a short time left, so he

was hesitant to pursue anything that would add meaning to his life and give him satisfaction. He used

the excuse that he was tired, but I know that he was simply uninspired and unchallenged. The inter-

esting thing about it is, he was only 67 years old at the time, had no real health problems, and was

an intelligent, even brilliant man. He could easily have gotten more out of life by writing a book on

Segment 1: The Art of Success

the topics of his professional expertise, but he thought it would be too much work. Who was this

man? He was my father who, three years later, died with his music still in him. It is unfortunate that

people like this completely miss the true value of themselves to the world.

On the other hand, some people refuse to let life get them down permanently. A case in point is

a very pleasant person I know named Gladys. One day in 1998, she told me an inspiring story:

“When I was 52 years old, all I had was a broken marriage, a car and $27 in my pocket as I moved

from North Carolina to Florida. That was in the early 1960’s. My sister owned a bar in town and I

worked there to make ends meet. I also started a small nursery, using a little piece of land that my

sister loaned me near her bar. Once I had built up the nursery business a little, I bought my own piece

of land. I then worked very hard to build up my business, working many nights. As my business grew,

I bought surrounding property, in addition to property elsewhere in the country. I bought everything

with cash, nothing on credit. I succeeded through sheer determination.”

Though you would never think it, Gladys was almost 90 years old at the time, doing well and was

very comfortable financially. Although Gladys credited sheer determination for her success, I credit

her with far more. In my observation, Gladys also had a keen sense of justice, in addition to her good,

down to earth business sense. She strove to treat people right in her dealings. She often did the kind

thing to people, instead of unmercifully holding to the “right thing” when circumstances warranted.

Generosity played a big role in her success as a human being. She refused to back down in areas of

principle, many times standing up as an advocate for those worse off than her. She had that “Down

South” sense of goodness and hospitality. She took people at face value, but had the ability to discern

what really makes people tick. Rarely was she fooled by someone with less than honest intentions. I

have since lost touch with Gladys, and I don’t know if she is still with us or not. If she is, she would

be around 102 years old as of this writing. And, you know… I wouldn’t be surprised if she was still

going at it! Some people are just too busy to die!

The point of both of these stories is that we can always be successful, no matter how old or where

we are at in life. It all depends upon our attitude. Abraham Lincoln said: “Always bear in mind that

your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.”

Don’t allow a poor attitude to adversely affect the pursuit of your dream. Try to emulate other

successful people whom you know. Use the Characteristics of Success above to strengthen your na-

ture, and thereby, enjoy success in all aspects of life. Keep working to raise your personal net asset

value. Resolve to be successful! Take hold of it! Demand it!

In the spirit of Elinor Smith Sullivan above, don’t let life just happen to you, go out and happen to

life! And as you “happen” to life, imitate Admiral Farragut, who, during the U.S. Civil War, said with

passion and total conviction, “Damn the torpedoes. Full speed ahead!”

Never let your dream die for any reason! Then and only then, will you be assured of success!

Thomas Francis University • Course G150 • Segment 2

THE ART OF
MOTIVATION AND MOMENTUM

—Douglas R. Kelley, PhD, CH, CSL

Upon Completion of this Segment, You Will Know:

 Where motivation comes from.

 Eight keys to finding and keeping your motivation.

 The positive side of inner pain.

 How to get rid of fear.

 How to overcome inertia.

 How to use small successes to propel you to greater success.

 The Law of Momentum and how it applies to all activities.

 How to regain momentum.

We know nothing about motivation. All we can do is write books about it.

—Peter Drucker

t is very interesting to study what does and what does not motivate people. Some are motivated

by poverty, some by money. Some are motivated by love, others by hate. Still others find mo-

tivation by giving back to the world, while yet others are motivated by selfishly taking from the

world.

Some desire to understand and define motivation, as I do here. But the truth is, it can be very

difficult to really understand what motivates a person. As a rule, motivation stems from an intense

inner belief in oneself and ones’ dream. This, in turn, produces deep meaning for us. When we have

intense belief in what we are doing and find meaning in it, we usually can’t help but be motivated.

In business, motivation is essential. Business people must come to know themselves well enough

to determine what really motivates them. Anytime we are in a career that involves direct selling to

others, motivation must remain high. A lack of motivation can be the death knell to a business.

And yet, business is not the only area in which motivation is crucial. This also applies to your

metaphysical practice, ministry, anomalous research group, etc. Many otherwise effective and com-

petent people have seen a decline in their success due to a lack of motivation. When we lose our

motivation, a once promising and enjoyable enterprise can become a person’s own living hell.

Segment 2: The Art of Motivation and Momentum

For example, call reluctance and avoidance behavior affect many different people in many differ-

ent endeavors. They are symptoms resulting from a lack of motivation, which itself is a symptom of

yet another cause. Call reluctance occurs when a person is disinclined to make contacts that would

lead to success in his or her specific endeavor whether business or otherwise. Since success in any

endeavor is essentially a numbers game, call reluctance can seriously reduce performance or kill a

dream.

Call reluctance is an aspect of avoidance behavior. With avoidance behavior, an unmotivated per-

son spends time doing every other “important” thing except the most important one—making calls

and/or contacting the people necessary to make the endeavor successful. By the person’s behavior,

he or she avoids what really has to be done, and at the time it should be done. Therefore, the person

is not nearly as effective or successful as he or she could be. This likely has a domino effect in the

person’s personal life, because if a business is involved and few sales calls are made, then commissions

are low, which in turn leads to financial problems, which in turn can lead to family and relationship

problems. Furthermore, the company they work for or own also feels the effects of a reduced bottom

line due to decreased income while still having operating expenses. Intense belief in yourself and the

value you offer will overcome avoidance behavior.

HOW TO FIND AND KEEP YOUR MOTIVATION

As I mentioned above, a lack of motivation in itself is a symptom of an underlying problem—a lack

of significant meaning in the endeavor or in one’s life. In order to get motivated and overcome call

reluctance or any other lack of motivation, we must cut right to the core of the problem. Many times

when we are unmotivated, we are simply uninspired; nothing in life really moves us within; we cease

to find challenge and meaning in our lives. This is an existential imbalance. Any time we experience

adversity of any kind, it is because something is out of its natural order. In this case, we are not doing

what we are supposed to be doing regarding our dream and life’s work.

I believe that motivation can be reduced to a common denominator: humans tend to move away

from pain, and gravitate toward pleasure. This concept has been well written about by many psy-

chologists and philosophers including Sigmund Freud. We all make time to do what we really like to

do, but never find as much time to do what we really hate. So it seems that when a person is doing

what he or she loves and is finding rich meaning in his or her life, then motivation is usually not a

problem.

Have you ever experienced a lack of motivation? We all have at one point or another in our lives,

or regarding one thing or another. If you feel unmotivated in your career or life, ask yourself, “What

would have to change in order for me to get motivated?” Answering this question may take some time

as well as some meditative soul searching. You may have to consider and confront necessary changes

in order to become motivated again, which is good. Why live your life without passion or motivation?

As you consider the above question, here are eight characteristics of motivation that may provoke

you to thought and thereby aid you to regain your motivation. Incidentally, some of these traits are

neutral—they can either motivate or de-motivate, depending on your perspective. You will also notice

that some of these motivational traits are similar to the Characteristics of Success in the previous

segment, in fact, they are intertwined. It is not surprising this is the case, as successful people are

also quite motivated.

Segment 2: The Art of Motivation and Momentum

1. Live Your Dream. I have found this to be the primary motivator or de-motivator in life. Albert

Einstein said, “We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when

all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about.” If you are not

involved with doing something that truly excites you, then you are not likely to be as moti-

vated toward success. Are you living your dream? Everyone has a dream inside that is unique

to them. With the uncertainties of life, it is a tragedy indeed for a person to never realize

that which could add great meaning to his or her life. This is why so much attention is being

paid to helping you develop your mission and vision statements in these courses, and much

more will come. To be truly motivated, listen to your inner voice, your Higher Self; obey your

calling, live your dream!

2. Feeling Good. When we don’t feel physically good most of the time, it’s hard to be motivated.

There are several reasons why this may be the case. One reason might simply be our life

pattern, e.g. eating and drinking in moderation, and getting the appropriate amount of sleep

each night. Chemical imbalances can lead to depression that can drain us partially, or com-

pletely as well. Other things can cause us to feel below par much of the time, including food

allergies and other types of allergies. On the other hand, we may simply lack a worthy and

noble cause that can bring us meaning. If we lack sufficient meaning in our lives, this can

manifest in various ways physically. Take a good look at your habits and environment as well

as within to find potential causes of not feeling good. Seek medical attention if necessary

and/or start living or working toward your dream. The sooner you do, the sooner you can start

feeling good!

3. Believe in Yourself and the Value You Offer. There is no greater asset than self-belief. If

you do not believe in yourself and the value of what you are doing, then why should anyone

else? There is simply no substitute for self-belief. It has tremendous power to propel us

through the adversities of life. Motivational speaker and coach, Wanda Carter,1 said, “Take

control of your destiny. Believe in yourself. Ignore those who try to discourage you. Avoid

negative sources, people, places, things and habits. Don’t give up and don’t give in.” Great

power resides in deliberately believing in yourself and the value you offer. This is also how

you overcome avoidance behaviors.

4. To the Greatest Extent Possible, Do Not Allow Yourself to Be Encumbered By Problems.

Unnecessary problems can arise from your own attitude or acceptance of circumstances you

could otherwise change. Intense personal problems can injure or destroy your motivation.

Likewise, so can problems at work. Use the metaphysical principles in these courses to over-

come any attitudes that may de-motivate you.

5. Your Pain; Your Hunger. Pain can be a powerfully motivating or de-motivating force. If you

are unhappy about your situation be it personal or financial, your inner pain can drive you on

to great accomplishments where little else can. Sometimes, your pain may immobilize you

too, but I have found that when my own pain gets bad enough, I get fed up and motivated to

make changes.

It is important to channel your pain in the proper direction. One way to make the most of

any pain you may feel is to ascertain the direction in which that pain prompts you. Pain is a

physiological warning system. It is your body and mind’s way of telling you that something is

1 http://inspirationmotivation.com.

Segment 2: The Art of Motivation and Momentum

wrong and needs to be corrected. Listen to your pain! What is it saying? What is it telling you

to do? When you define that which pains you, you get it out on the table as it were; have an

opportunity to touch it, feel it, hold it, taste it, and get motivated by it. Taking action releases

the energy contained in the pain. You cease to cave in to any fear of the pain, because you

see it for what it is—largely a bag full of hot air much like the balloon in the previous course.

Closely related to pain as a motivating force, is hunger. Not necessarily the physical kind,

but a longing for something better in one’s life. This inner hunger can motivate us to reach

the stars and never give up, especially when it is born of high virtue.

6. Believe You Will Gain Benefits. If you believe that you are in a dead-end job, your motivation

will die as a result. If this is true, do yourself and your employer a favor, and make plans to

quit and move on to a more rewarding career in harmony with your life dream. Additionally,

if you are not earning what you’re worth, it can sap your motivation also. It’s hard to be moti-

vated if you can’t pay the bills. But you can also find great motivation from the pain of making

too little income if you adjust your sails and move in a different direction.

In a Michigan State University study, 97% of the faculty members and staff who bet $40

that they could stay with a six-month exercise program were successful. Only 19% of a non-

betting group stayed with their six-month program.1 The point is, we must feel like there is

some benefit to our objective, or we will not strive as hard. The First Law of Human Nature

is that people only do the things they see a benefit in doing. Do what you love and the benefits

will come naturally.

7. Continue to Gain Knowledge and Experience. If you are in a career that requires extensive

product knowledge, the feeling that you are not really qualified can be a big de-motivator.

The obvious solution is to gain whatever knowledge you lack. Then you won’t harbor the fear

any longer.

8. Lose the Fear. Fear is one of the greatest disabling beliefs. Seldom do the fears we harbor

within have anything to do with the greater reality. I’ve always liked using the word “fear” as

an acronym: F.E.A.R.—False Evidence Appearing Real.2 As long as we believe our fears are

real, they become our reality. And herein lays the problem: our fears are usually nothing more

than misguided and illusory beliefs (false evidence) that disable us from doing what we know

we should do. By holding on to unreasonable fears, you disable yourself.

One unknown author wrote, “Remember that the more you know, the less you fear,” and I

could add, “the less you fear, the more you are motivated.” Knowledge cancels fear. Con-

versely, fear can also be a great motivator. The instinctive “fight or flight” human response

can come into play. This can move you to action if you fear poverty, feel like you are missing

out on your dream, or have other fears associated with life. This being said, it is not healthy

to use or accede to fear-based motivation in any form. This is negatively-based motivation.

We want positively-based motivation. If you get motivated from fear, it is the same as focusing

on what you don’t want to happen. Since we always get what we focus on, the Universe will

bring reality in line with our focus. If our focus is that which we fear, that is what we will

1 MSC Health Action News, April, 1993.
2 Coined by Zig Ziglar (to the best of my knowledge).

Segment 2: The Art of Motivation and Momentum

likely get. Instead, build your motivation on what you do want to happen, not on what you

don’t want to happen.

These eight points can really help us with getting and staying motivated, if we apply them. Victor

Hugo wrote: “People do not lack strength; they lack will.” The reason people lack will is because they

haven’t discovered what motivates them, e.g., their dream which brings rich meaning to life.

Figuring out what motivates you can take time and self-scrutiny. You must honestly come face to

face with what does or does not motivate you, and then conform to whatever solutions you came up

with. Never underestimate the power of motivation or de-motivation.

GAINING MOMENTUM

Back on July 20, 1969, I remember watching Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin walk on the moon for

the first time in history. It was broadcast live to the world on television. I was only 10 years old then,

but it fascinated me, and filled my imagination with exciting possibilities. It was truly an amazing

accomplishment for humankind. I have always marveled at the power necessary to lift such a huge

rocket into space.

Twelve years later, the first Shuttle was launched in the early morning of April 12, 1981, which I

also watched on live television. As Columbia lifted off, I was again amazed at the power involved to

overcome earth’s gravity and send it into orbit.

It is interesting to compare the power necessary to lift a rocket into orbit with that of lifting

ourselves into the orbit of success in life. With this in mind, let’s examine and compare the two, and

note the lessons contained therein.

Facts and Lessons on Momentum

1. Inertia. For the Shuttle to leave the ground, it must overcome inertia. Sir Isaac Newton’s first

law of motion describes inertia. It states that a body at rest tends to remain at rest, and a

body in motion tends to keep moving at the same speed and in a straight line. In order to move

a resting body or to stop a moving body, an external action called a “force” is required. The

tendency of a body to remain at rest or to remain in motion is called inertia. The inertia of a

body is related to its mass. Bodies that are more massive possess greater inertia than bodies

with less mass.

In order to achieve the necessary momentum, the Space Shuttle, weighing over 4.5 million

pounds at lift-off, must develop about seven million pounds of thrust. This makes sense, be-

cause according to Newton’s law, the more mass that is involved, the more force is required

to move it.

Lesson: In our lives, we also must overcome inertia in order to achieve success. It will quite

likely require unusual effort in the beginning to launch our dream, but there is no way around

this fact. If our dream is starting a metaphysical practice, ministry, or another type of business,

it will take extraordinary effort the first few years. Once we have supplied that initial “thrust”

of hard work, then less effort is required to maintain our momentum. However, if we never

provide that initial thrust, or if our effort is less than enough, then we will not realize our goal.

Segment 2: The Art of Motivation and Momentum

If we have been unmotivated in the past, we must now determine what truly excites and

motivates us, so we can “blast off” in the right direction. By going through the process of

identifying our true motivations and potential solutions to realizing them, we begin to build

up the necessary thrust to get us off our launch pad. By resolving to continue our efforts, we

work to build up the momentum that will see us through to our objective.

2. Stage Technology. With most current and past space vehicles, Stage Technology has been

required to get the vehicle successfully into orbit. With the Space Shuttle, two solid-rocket

boosters provide most of the thrust for the first two minutes of flight (some 5.8 million pounds

combined). Once they are used up, they are jettisoned and fall into the ocean. After this, the

primary engines continue to carry the Shuttle the rest of the way fueled by the huge external

tank. Again, because of inertia, much more force is required to get the Shuttle off the ground,

but once it is going, not quite as much force is required. Without Stage Technology, the vehicle

would not reach orbit.

Lesson: As we launch our dreams, our success will go in stages. When we get to a certain level

of success, we must build on that success to get ourselves to the next level. So how do we

build on our successes? Or, what if we feel that we really have no successes to build on?

When I was in my late teens, my dad told me that I should wisely use the next ten years or

so to educate myself and gain career experience because, as he said, “a person’s twenties are

largely a waste.” What he was saying is that few people really “set the world on fire” during

their 20’s, so I should use that time wisely to prepare for later years, especially in the areas of

education and career experience. In essence, the 20’s are a time to really use Stage Technology

in attaining goals and objectives that will only likely come during one’s 30’s, 40’s and beyond.

This may sound strange to you if you are in your teens or 20’s, but I found it to be very true. If

we have no real success to build on so far, this is the best time of our lives to start.

As I look back over my 50-plus years on this planet, I have come to believe that every trial,

every adversity, every lesson as well as every positive event have been stages in my efforts to

achieve “orbit.” The difficulties of starting and successfully operating my own businesses taught

me a lot about the intricacies of such things as hiring good people, cash flow, good customer

service, management, and a host of other valuable lessons. These experiences were “stages”

along the way to even more successes to come. Every time we endure hardship, we can use

the experience—just as a rocket uses a stage—to propel us even farther.

If we have enjoyed success in our endeavors, we can capitalize on that success to also

propel us farther. Use techniques that have proven successful in one endeavor, to be successful

in the next. Once a person has amassed many years of experience along with adversity and

hardship, then he or she uses those lessons to reach orbit and beyond. We must never allow

difficulties to cause us to blow up in mid-flight.

3. Escaping Orbit. Unlike the Space Shuttle, some spacecraft have missions to explore space

outside of earth’s orbit. Voyager probes 1 and 2, launched in 1977, and Cassini-Huygens’ mis-

sion to Saturn launched in 1997 are good examples. Once the spacecraft achieves orbit, it will

need to increase its speed to seven miles per second or 25,000 miles per hour to escape earth’s

gravity. The earth’s gravity is used to help accomplish this by using a slingshot technique to

launch it out into space. You might say, therefore, that reaching orbit was just a temporary

step along the way to fulfilling its ultimate mission.

Segment 2: The Art of Motivation and Momentum

Lesson: Once we have provided the necessary effort to begin realizing our goal, we may also

have attained some success along the way by getting into “orbit.” However, the question is,

“Are we done yet?” Have we really attained all that we wanted? If not, we must use the “orbit”

that we have already achieved, to catapult us on to further aspects of our goal. Again, some

further effort will be required so that we can reach the necessary “speed” to escape the limiting

bounds of where we are now.

4. Adjusting Course Along the Way. Once a space probe has left orbit, its course is set so that it

rendezvous’ with the planet at the right place and time. This is critical if the mission is to be

successful. The interesting thing about it is that the space probe is sent in a direction that the

planet will be when the probe gets there. In other words, if you just aim the probe at where

the planet currently is, the planet will have moved a considerable distance in its orbit by the

time the probe gets there. There would be no realistic way of constantly adjusting course to

compensate, nor would it make any sense. So the probe is sent in the proper direction from

the outset. This is not to say that minor course corrections may not become necessary, espe-

cially when the probe is visiting more than one planet. When a probe, such as Voyager, is

scheduled to visit several planets, the flyby of each planet both accelerates the spacecraft

and bends its flight path. Without these gravity assists, Voyager’s flight time to Neptune would

have taken 30 years, instead of 12 years. So Mission Control issues new commands to alter

course as needed.

Lesson: Using foresight, we must identify where our objective will be in the future. That means

knowing enough about our objective to determine the course we must take to get there. We

also must be flexible enough to change our course when necessary. And that means listening

to the “commands” that come along from outside indicators or from our own intuition. This is

why my dad told me to get the most education and experience possible during my 20’s because

this would support reaching my objectives still many years ahead. Don’t be afraid to alter

course if it means a better and quicker flight path.

Sometimes problems can arise in the pursuit of our goal or dream. The attitude we take regarding

those obstacles will affect our outcome. Rather than allowing problems to force us to breakup and

crash, use them instead to gain momentum and speed in the same way a space probe uses the gravi-

tational field of a planet to accelerate it on to further goals and victories. There will always be

problems, just don’t let them destroy your dreams. Learn from life’s lessons.

THE LAW OF MOMENTUM

Have you ever noticed that when things are going wrong, they often get worse? We’ve all heard

the expression, “When it rains, it pours.” Conversely, when things are going well, they seem to get

better. This is the Law of Momentum at work. The Law states: “When you are down, momentum works

to keep you down. When you are up, momentum works to keep you up.” This law is really just an

adaptation of Newton’s first law of motion, but with a more life-relevant approach.

The Law of Momentum can affect everything we do, from finances, to career, to family, to what-

ever. For example, say that you are having a financially poor month. Perhaps there were too many

outflows and not enough inflows. The next thing you know, things start snowballing. Bills that were

Segment 2: The Art of Motivation and Momentum

the regular amount are now more because they were not paid on time and are incurring late fees.

Worse yet is if a check happens to “bounce.” Not only does the business that took the check charge a

fee, but so does the bank. The longer one goes without noticing the overdraft, the more the overdraft

fees add up. It is not uncommon for some to have paid out thousands of dollars in bank overdraft fees

alone. While this is a simple example, it is nevertheless painfully true in some people’s experience.

Incidentally, I was told once by a bank officer that overdraft fees accounted for 25% of his bank’s

annual revenue.

On the positive side, I have personally experienced times when I thought things could not go any

better. “Luck” was on my side. Actually, it wasn’t luck at all; it was the Law of Momentum. Any time

this occurs, I find that I am enthusiastic, energized and doing well as a result.

This brings up some good questions: What exactly is this mysterious Law of Momentum? What

makes up the mechanics of this force? How exactly does it work?

Rather than being some intelligently directed force, I have come to understand that this force of

momentum simply exists as a result of our own mindset. We have it available to us at all times, but

we must tap into it. The force of momentum is neutral—it is neither positive nor negative by nature.

We make it positive or negative by our attitude and mental paradigms. This being the case, we make

our own luck.

Other areas of life exist where momentum can make or break us. Once we lose our motivation,

our momentum declines as well. If we have lost our momentum, what can we do to regain it?

WHAT GOES UP DOESN’T NECESSARILY HAVE TO COME DOWN

Just because we may have lost our momentum doesn’t mean that we cannot regain it. But we must

look at the matter realistically. In the same way that extraordinary effort is required to lift the Space

Shuttle off its pad, we must also exert more-than-the-ordinary effort to get our momentum going

again.

But we should consider some other aspects here as well, motivation being the primary one. If we

are simply not motivated, then it will be all but impossible to regain our momentum in that particular

endeavor. So, in trying to regain our momentum, we must approach it in the correct order. First, ask

yourself, “Do I really want to do this anymore or even at all?” If the answer is yes, then what would

have to change for you to regain your motivation and momentum? If the answer is no, then it is really

a moot point—find something that will motivate you to sustain your momentum.

If we currently have high momentum, or if we have regained it back again, be careful of wrong

illusions. Sometimes we may mistakenly think that we are going the wrong direction in our quest for

success. How so? Have you ever noticed a car tire turning at high speed? Although the car is moving

forward, the wheels give the illusion that the car is actually going backwards. But is it really?

In our search for success, we may in fact have forward momentum, but sometimes get the illusion

that we are going backward. This can happen when we make mistakes in business or some other area

of our lives. Making mistakes in life is like hitting an unexpected speed bump. It may have slowed us

down a bit, but there is no reason to believe that we have stopped our forward momentum com-

pletely. If we learn the lesson contained in the “speed bump” and not stop altogether, then the ap-

pearance of going backward is really just an illusion. And as we continue our forward motion, this

Segment 2: The Art of Motivation and Momentum

time we are much more experienced and able to avoid similar speed bumps that may lurk down the

road.

As you launch yourself toward your goal or dream, use the ideas in this segment to help you sustain

your momentum. Once you have found your life’s motivation and continue the momentum, the only

thing ahead is the stars!

Thomas Francis University • Course G150 • Segment 3

THE ART OF ORDER

AND BALANCE

—Douglas R. Kelley, PhD, CH, CSL

Upon Completion of this Segment, You Will Know:

 Why balance and order are important to success.

 10 ways to remember things.

 The emotional toll of clutter.

 How to get rid of clutter.

 Best secrets of getting and staying organized.

 How to have an orderly life.

 3 Common Organizing Principles.

he Art of Success depends on how organized and balanced you are across all areas of your

life. As I’ve previously mentioned, adversity is a state of disorder, that is, things are not in

their proper order. It is impossible to be successful in all matters without things being in

their proper order. This includes everything from your schedule to your home, but most importantly,

it includes your mind. If your mind is in order, your life will be in order and vice versa.

You have been studying many concepts designed to get your mind in order. Don’t forget that our

outside world is a reflection of our inside world. Take a look around you; are your surroundings clean

and orderly, or are you living in a cluttered mess? The first step in helping to unclutter your mind is

to unclutter your surroundings. Therefore, let’s discuss a number of techniques designed to help you

get organized by getting things in order.1

REMEMBERING TO ORGANIZE

Being well organized means you have to remember to do things. Following are 10 good tips to help

you to remember it all.

1. Jot it down. With the many details that you have to remember in any given day, why should

you try to keep it all in a memory bank? At the very moment that you remember something

1 The following techniques are based on the eBook, Getting Yourself Organized edited by Doug Kelley and used with per-

mission.

Segment 3: The Art of Order and Balance

needs to be done, the very best thing to do is write it down. Then, just as you need to recall

it, it will be there for you in an instant.

2. Keep it all in one place. Once you have developed the knack of writing everything down,

your next step will be to keep your writing all in one place. You will remember better this

way. Otherwise, you are going to spend valuable time searching for your notes.

3. Stay healthy. A keen memory is a well-nourished mind. Eat healthy; get plenty of rest and

lots of good exercise. These will all see you through to having a good memory, staying fo-

cused and being alert.

4. Record your every thought. You might find yourself driving when a good idea about organ-

izing comes to you or you might recall something that you really need to write down. No

need to pull over and start writing, record instead! Pull off to the side of the road and use

a small hand held tape recorder. This is a wonderful tool to carry around with you, to record

your thoughts, or your parking space number, or even a memorable telephone number you

see on a billboard as you drive by. Use your handy recorder to be your second eyes and ears.

Many cell phones also have this capability.

5. Call ahead. When you are at the office and you want to do something when you arrive back

home, call ahead to your answering machine and leave yourself a message. As soon as you

get home you can listen to your message and remember exactly what you wanted to do.

6. Be confident in yourself. If you keep saying you have a bad memory, you will probably

continue to have a bad memory. It is important to have a motivated, I can remember atti-

tude.

7. Handy email reminders. There are many good and free e-mail reminder services available.

You can type in what you want to remember, such as a welcome party, anniversary or special

event, and you will receive an e-mail reminder when the date is approaching. This is a

terrific way to jog your memory by Internet.

8. Use sticky notes. Those wonderful, little sticky notes are the next best thing to sliced bread!

They are amazing as memory helpers. Want to remember something prior to leaving your

home? Just mark it down on a Post-It Note and stick it to the inside of your door. The bright,

neon colors will be great to catch your eye as you are leaving. You will not likely miss it!

Need to make an urgent call first thing in the morning? Leave a Post-It Note on your tele-

phone.

9. Use timers and alarms. Take advantage of alarm clocks and timers throughout your

day.

Have to take the clothes out of the dryer by 12 noon? Set your alarm clock to remind you.

Want to leave for the ladies luncheon by 7 p.m.? Set your timer to beep a few minutes before

it is time to start to get ready.

10. Visual memory joggers. Visual reminders will help you remember and stay focused. Use

visual reminders for remembering your goals. If your goal is to take a trip to Ireland in a few

years, keep a magazine photograph of Ireland right on your desk. If your goal is to lose 30

lbs. in six months, find a picture or ornament that will help remind you of this goal each

day.

Segment 3: The Art of Order and Balance

THE EMOTIONAL TOLL OF CLUTTER

Each area of your home provides you with a unique form of comfort. Comfort and clutter cannot

co-exist. Clutter and mess only serves to bring unbalance and will dampen any good spirit. It stands

to reason that, give up the clutter and bring in the peace of mind.

De-clutter your kitchen. Your kitchen is regarded as the heart of your home and for a good reason.

Here you are nourished and provided for, even if you are dining on a frozen entrée zapped in the

microwave rather than a homemade meal. An untidy and cluttered kitchen makes it hard to nourish

yourself and others, on both physical and emotional. How you care for your kitchen is a hot clue to

whether you are giving proper attention to your own nourishment and that of others. Cleaning up and

de-cluttering your kitchen will open space for you to receive the support and comfort that you need

in life.

De-clutter your living and dining room. These are special places where you socialize with family

and friends. Here you engage with the world while being at home through watching television, reading

the paper or discussing current events with old friends over dinner. Clutter can turn these otherwise

special and social spaces into dens of isolation, especially if the mess is so bad that it has been a time

since you have invited people over. Look carefully at your living and dining rooms to see what they

say about your relationships. Are they important to you? Are you hiding yourself from others, by

burying yourself in nasty clutter?

De-clutter your hallways. You need clear hallways to navigate through your home. Your clutter

in your hallways prevents important connections between different areas of your home and your life.

Look at your hallways and see what it says about the rest of your life. Do they contain good lighting

and are they easily navigable, or do they cause confusion and trip you up? If you feel a disconnection

between work and family, self and others, what you need to be done and your obligations, it may be

time to give your hallways some good organizing.

De-clutter your bathrooms. Each day we use this important space to meet the world. We begin

our days from this room. Clutter in the bathroom can mean you don’t take pride in how you look and

feel. How can you feel clean when using a cluttered, dirty bathroom? A clean, well-decorated bath-

room is a tranquil sanctuary for rejuvenation and self-care. Scented soaps, attractive accessories,

and fragrant candles all take their place here. This is beauty for the mind and soul. You can beautify

your life by organizing and cleaning this important room. Take the time to transform your bathroom

into a place of refuge and this will bring a sense of the sacred into your morning and evening personal-

care rituals.

De-clutter the bedroom. Your bedroom is for sleeping and intimacy, and it functions as a place

of renewal for self and relationships. Clutter in the bedroom is worse than in any room. It is anything

but restful and peaceful. If you are feeling “wired and tired,” creating order out of chaos in this most

personal space will help you relax and to let go of the stresses of the day. Then you will get a good

night’s sleep or enjoy some special time with your partner. Of all of your rooms, this one is the most

critical for being organized and peaceful.

De-clutter your closets. Closets are everything hidden, unknown, or unrecognized. When we fill

our closets with clutter, we harness our ability to be intuitive and insightful. Cluttered closets can

indicate problems that you may not even be aware of but which block your progress through life,

work, and relationships. Keeping the closet door closed is not an obvious solution. Organizing your

closets IS!

Segment 3: The Art of Order and Balance

De-clutter your attic and basement. A cluttered attic causes you to feel under pressure. It is not

easy to feel good about the future when there is so much stuff “hanging about and over your head.”

Organize those boxes of yesteryear and you will feel ten pounds lighter, instantly! The basement and

other below-ground storage areas are thought to be holders of the unconscious mind, so take the

time and have that clutter cleaned up!

De-clutter your garage. Think of your car as a symbol of your agility, independence, and ability

to be self-propelled in life. If there’s so much junk piled high in your garage that you can barely lift

the garage door, it is time to organize. Do this and be prepared to move forward in your life, as well.

Stop thinking of de-cluttering as a chore and start thinking of it as one of the most effective self-

improvement exercises available to you. Every magazine and piece of paper you place in the recycle

bin and every book you give back to the library will liberate you. Just as giving those older items to

charity, will. Free yourself now of clutter and open the flood gates of joy and energy into your life.

SAY GOOD-BYE TO CLUTTER

Now that you have a good system to remember your tasks at hand, the next big step will be to get

rid of clutter. Clutter diminishes a smile, dampens the spirit, and so should not be tolerated.

It is very easy to find any given room in a cluttered mess, but it takes some hard work to de-clutter

and organize.

Many people say that one of their favorite things to do when stressed out is to clean! Hard to

imagine, right? Well, it is true. Cleaning gives order and purpose to your life, even if only in smaller

chunks at a time.

We are not just talking about moving around clutter from one shelf to another. We are talking

about de-cluttering every room of your home. Say good-bye to the dust, say good-bye to the junk –

say hello to room to breathe and move around!

Start out by drawing up a list of what you absolutely want done. Think about those leaning tower

of Pisa papers in the den, then move slowly into the family room. See any piles of old photos just

crying out to be placed in a photo album? Write that one down. How about those piles of clothing

sitting in the bottom of your closet? Write that one down, too.

By now, if you are clever, you see a list of very workable, one-at-a-time chores that can be as-

signed throughout a busy day. The idea is to get started and work your way around. By the end of the

day, you will have a beautiful, uncluttered home or office as your reward!

Do not become discouraged if your attempt to enlist your family members runs amuck. Just write

them down on your list as those who require an attitude adjustment and then save that chore for

next time. One can hope!

If you are altogether frank about it, you really do not want a second pair of meddling hands any-

way; some chores are best left to only one pair of hands. That way you can be sure that the chores

will be done right the first time.

Segment 3: The Art of Order and Balance

Turn Clutter into Harmony

If a primary goal is to exist in a clutter-free environment, think of devising a system in which to

operate freely. With a smart system, you will have valuable free time. Having more time to spend

your hours doing what you enjoy most is everyone’s goal in life. Using a system, you will have a

method of doing something that might otherwise be a strain. You will have a new way of simplifying

a task or operation.

Paper clutter is a very good example. We find papers thrown here, there and everywhere. Loose

paper can be found in every area of your home. To transform a disorderly area into an orderly one,

you will want to first clean up the area of all loose paper and put it away in a designated place or

just throw it away. You can use baskets, drawers or shelving space to store away your paper. Once

you have a designated place established, it is easier, then, to remain organized.

Think now about how your paper became so messy in the first place. What did you do with it once

it arrived? Did you put the full bundle into a basket, for example? If you glanced at it and then put

it down in a haphazard pile at the nearest table or desk near you, chances are that is your problem.

Your goal is to designate a place for every item of value in your entire home. That way you are

organized.

The organized way to deal with all paper that crosses your hands and/or desk is to:

1. Have it placed at a designated tray, basket, shelf or drawer.

2. Spend the time you need to look into what the paper asks of you and, when done with it;

3. Place it in either a file, put it in a filing basket to be filed, put it in an out basket, or simply

throw it away.

4. Touch each paper only once if at all possible.

This type of paper flow system will organize you in a heartbeat and will prevent finding assorted

pieces of paper everywhere throughout your home. As soon as you receive the paper, you put it in its

allotted place. From this, you will create a peaceful work area. You will automatically know where

to go to get your paper and where to find paper that you need.

The same system can be applied to reorganizing a disordered environment. You can tackle a room,

a closet, or a drawer by first organizing it and then taking a look at how it got that way in the first

place. Here is where the new system comes into play. You need to be able to maintain the order you

have applied to it for later so that the same mess does not just develop all over again. The more time

and effort you put into being organized, the less time you will need to apply to organizing later

You will need to acquire the necessary “tools” needed to create good order. Having good order is

the building block to being better organized.

Shop the discount and specialty stores for great tools to organize. They are inexpensive and work

well. If you find your bedroom is hard to keep organized then look around for something to solve your

problem. The moment you find the right tool, you can begin to put things into their proper place.

There is no easy way around trying to get your life in order and be better organized. It takes time

and effort on your part. The more tools you can apply to your disorganized messes, the easier it will

be to maintain order. Once you find the right approach, it will be easy to keep the same momentum

Segment 3: The Art of Order and Balance

going. Use a system to organize every area of your life. Go from room to room in your home and apply

tools to simplify messy problems. You will be so glad you did!

In order to remain uncluttered we must change the habits that led to the clutter in the first place.

BEST SECRETS TO GETTING AND STAYING ORGANIZED

 Tell yourself (and believe) that some degree of clutter with a child is going to happen no

matter what!

 Begin with messes and clutter that you see every day. Work on organizing your kitchen and

family room before your hallway closet.

 Assign everything in your house a place. This way when your family searches for something

they need, they will know exactly where to find it and where to put it away.

 Use this same principle to organize your silverware, with clearly defined places for every fork

and knife, or drawers for ties and socks or, underwear. Think in this same way for every aspect

of your home. This will save many hours of searching for things. It will dramatically cut down

on the clutter of items left out “for now” or “until I find a place for it.” Develop a new mantra:

everything has its place and a place for everything!

 Enlist a new rule: throw out one old thing for every new purchase that enters your home.

 When using stairs, never go up or down them empty-handed. Always grab some items that

belong to upstairs rooms and quickly put it away while you are there.

 Make a mental note to observe what things pile up in your house and where they cluster, and

then come up with a place nearby that becomes the official home where those things will

reside. Introduce baskets, shelves, and folders for this purpose. They work well. Set aside one

basket for you and your partner for incoming mail, bills, and receipts and letters.

 Create a number of brightly marked folders for bills and other time-sensitive papers that just

clutter your counters.

 Keep items that are used frequently in places where you can reach them without stooping or

bending, and store them close to the place they will be needed.

 Use drawer dividers for socks, underwear, lingerie, and tiny items, to keep them separated

and organized.

 Hang hooks for your keys and purse at the entry to your home, so each time you walk in, you

can hang them up.

 Establish one defined place in your house for storing library books, and end a house-wide hunt

when it is time to read or return them.

 Get rid of all junk drawers, or allow yourself just one that you clear out once a week or more.

When you establish certain items are being used repeatedly, designate a drawer for those.

 Get rid of things you don’t need any longer:

o Magazines you meant to read but have never taken the time for.

Segment 3: The Art of Order and Balance

o Expired medications.

o Clothes you no longer wear.

o Sunscreen that’s expired or more than one year old.

o Extra paper or plastic grocery bags.

o Makeup and samples you have never worn.

o Stuff your crumpled plastic bags from your grocer inside a cardboard roll like a hand

towel roll. Keep under your sink.

Getting rid of your clutter and organizing your home or office top to bottom will free your mind

to remember your daily chores. Be vigilant about cleaning about once a month and you will find it

much easier to keep up, week-by-week.

AN ORDERLY LIFE

There are generally two different types of people who exist in the work place; they are the Orga-

nized and the Disorganized. What characteristics set them apart and which do you aspire to be?

There seems to be lack of discipline with The Disorganized. Others around them might think the

Disorganized are actually not even aware of the condition they are in, because it is a situation that

appears to persist over long periods. Sometimes it can be a never-changing view of that person’s

surroundings. It is common to conclude that this type of person is often stressed and must go in all

directions to get things done, if they can get things done at all.

The Organized, on the other hand, are a unique breed. They seem to be able to create handy

places for things. They see to it that “everything has a place and that there’s a place for everything.”

They are the ones you would call on first when you need help to get something important done. They

can generally get more done in a relatively short period. They have a real knack for tackling work

with a disciplined approach.

Now, which would you rather be?

Getting proper instruction and a sense of guidance, the Disorganized can turn around on a dime

and become organized. It is often just a matter of providing them with the expertise and then working

with them on the discipline it takes to move into the ranks of the Organized.

The annoyances and inconveniences of working around the Disorganized eventually takes its toll

on those who know them best. If you work with the Disorganized, you tend to be annoyed by them

easily. Often times, a situation creates itself so that others must work harder or bypass the individual

to get certain things done. Does this scenario sound all too familiar? This hardship on others can bring

about resentment and unnecessary hurt feelings.

The Disorganized are basically enemies to themselves, more than anything, so it is important to

change adverse conditions in order to survive in harmony in the work place. Rather than picking up

the slack, offer some guidance and direction if it is your place to do so. This can bring harmony to

the relationship.

Segment 3: The Art of Order and Balance

One of the challenges of the Organized is how to bring harmony between the two conflicting types.

To start with, find a way to peacefully get the Disorganized to change their ways. Do this and you

will teach the Disorganized to foster new and better habits in all that they do. It can be done if done

carefully.

Order to the Organized is a critical factor for optimum change. Their choice of method is to figure

out ways to be more efficient. They want everyone around them to figure out how to accomplish

more with the least amount of effort and/or energy. They think always in systematic terms as a way

of handling work. They thrive on having everything done in an orderly fashion.

To be or not to be organized—that is the question. The Disorganized should answer that question

for him or herself and then act upon it. If they do nothing else, they can ask questions. They can

observe and follow the lead. The minute the Disorganized becomes organized, the minute they have

more time for themselves. This in itself should be good enough incentive.

Next comes the healing of relationships, where everyone works together in one accord, so in har-

mony. This is worth striving for. If the Disorganized is serious about changing their ways, they will

move on from an attitude of new awareness into a new attitude of action!

3 Common Organizing Principles

1. Reduce all forms of clutter. Get rid of anything that wastes time, space, energy, or money.

2. Create systems that make everyday jobs easier. Develop effective routines and standardized

procedures.

3. Simplify daily responsibilities. Reduce the amount of time and energy spent on routine activ-

ities.

What Do Professional Organizers Do?

 They help you change a disorganized environment (Reorganize storage, home or office layout,

clean out the “clutter”).

 They help change behaviors that cause disorganization (Procrastinating, failing to plan ahead,

and accumulating “excess stuff”).

 They monitor and encourage your ongoing progress (Offer follow-up visits, phone calls, coach-

ing, and “homework” assignments).

 They teach organizing techniques and keep clients motivated and focused.

 They wear many hats—educator, resource, coach, and cheerleader, project manager.

If you don’t want to hire a professional organizer, do what they do.

THE BENEFITS OF BEING ORGANIZED

 You will feel better about yourself.

Segment 3: The Art of Order and Balance

 You will feel calmer.

 Your world will smell and look sweeter.

 You will be more amicable.

 Friends and family will want to drop in.

 Your spouse/partner and/or children will wear a brighter smile (and so will you).

 You will have peaceful dreams.

 You will not stumble around your home or office.

 People will want to pay you more compliments.

 Your home and office will smell more fragrant.

 Your soul can breathe better.

Getting organized in your outside world is critical to being organized in your inside world. It is also

important to your success as a metaphysician. Balance and order are key. As 19th Century English

Theologian, Tryon Edwards, wrote, “Have a time and place for everything, and do everything in its

time and place, and you will not only accomplish more, but have far more leisure than those who are

always hurrying.”

Thomas Francis University • Course G150 • Segment 4

THE ART OF

POSITIVE CONSCIOUSNESS

—Douglas R. Kelley, PhD, CH, CSL

Updated: September 28, 2015

Upon Completion of this Segment, You Will Know:

 The nature of positive consciousness.

 How to be an optimist, not a pessimist.

 Positive thinking in life and relationships.

 The positive effects of positive thinking on your health.

 How to expect miracles in your

life.

 Positive thinking in your work environment.

 How to set a positive example for your children.

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring

to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.

—John Homer Miller

etaphysics is the study of consciousness and existence. We have explored many concepts

related to thinking and practical life-skills that enhance both our consciousness and ex-

istence, and we will continue to do so in upcoming courses. In this segment, we will

explore the importance of thinking positively as we strive to grow in conscious awareness of the

Universal Mind, which is simply the interconnectedness of all individual consciousness’s that exist.

By practicing positive thinking in our everyday life, we evolve toward a higher state of enlighten-

ment I call positive consciousness. Having a positive consciousness actually transcends positive think-

ing because in our heart of hearts, our natural inclination is to be positive without effort. This means

that even in our private self-talk we have a naturally positive bent. It means that we don’t have to

filter out negativities because they simply are not there. It means that we harbor no ill-will toward

others. It means being at peace with ourselves because we’re generally and reasonably negativity-

free. In short, it means to be driven by positivity. It doesn’t mean, of course, that we are passive in

nature and therefore allow others to encroach upon our boundaries.

Is having a positive consciousness something that we as humans can attain? I believe we can, but

it takes time and deliberate effort—especially considering the world we live in. We must practice

Segment 4: The Art of Positive Consciousness

positive thinking and intentionally root out negative thinking by focusing on the positives. With this

in mind, let’s explore a number of tips, tools, and techniques to help with positive thinking.1

ARE YOU AN OPTIMIST OR A PESSIMIST?

Noticing the difference is easy. An optimist, when faced with a problem, tends to find the up side

to the situation and starts figuring out ways to solve that problem, or ways to turn it around. A

pessimist, however, immediately throws up his hands, and yells, “That’s it; it’s all over. I can’t handle

this anymore.” Or he will distance himself from the problem, pretending it doesn’t matter. This is

denial, and it never works. Pessimists see the glass as half-empty, rather than half-full. They see the

hole, instead of the donut; the cloud, rather than the silver lining.

An indication that you are dealing with a pessimist is in a simple phrase they will use in stressful

situations. “I can’t.” The pessimist feels helpless, powerless in that situation and it shows in his or

her response. The optimist responds with “I won’t.” This shows that they are making a conscious

choice, not just reacting.

A pessimist is afflicted with an unhealthy case of the “what if” disorder. He constantly thinks,

“what if something bad happens, what if I lose my job, what if co-workers don’t like me, what if,

what if, what if….”

Optimists prefer to think more positively with a healthy case of the “what if’s.” What if nothing

bad happens, what if everything comes out fine? They tend to focus on what they really want, not

what might happen to them.

What exactly are the benefits of being optimistic, rather than pessimistic? For starters, an optimist

is more likely to achieve their goals, because they never give up. They may even achieve goals faster

than their more pessimistic counterparts. Optimists are just naturally happier, sunnier, and more

energetic individuals; and they actually encounter fewer obstacles along the way. They also tend to

inspire others to a more optimistic behavior and greater achievement.

Optimists are easier to be around, and can even make others feel more energetic and positive.

Pessimists are very difficult to deal with and can make people around them feel very depressed and

hopeless

too.

Now, true optimism is not sitting back thinking positive thoughts and hoping everything will turn

out all right. It’s how you see the world, positively rather than negatively. You face each situation,

each problem, and each occasion with a positive attitude; and you always look forward to the benefits

you will derive from it. The pessimist focuses on the problem, rather than the solution. They don’t

find a solution, because they’re not looking for one. They’re totally focused on failure. “That’s just

the way it is; there’s nothing we can do,” they’ll tell you.

An optimist really believes they can make a difference in the situation or the problem, that there

is a solution. They tend to bounce back quicker from losses and other life challenges than the pessi-

mist. The pessimist sees failure as inevitable and never moves forward to reverse it.

What’s most difficult to take from pessimists is their judgment of others. This is the only way they

can feel good about themselves. With so much self-hate, it’s no wonder that they have so little

1 The following techniques are based on the eBook, Revolutionary Positive Thinking edited by Doug Kelley and used with

permission.

Segment 4: The Art of Positive Consciousness

confidence in themselves or any self-esteem. This attitude brings everyone down to their level. This

is because there’s a payoff somewhere, secondary gains. So, what is it? They don’t have to take

responsibility for their own lives; they take no action to pull themselves from this pessimistic mindset.

Sidney J. Harris said, “A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one

who is prematurely disappointed in the future.” And Peggy Noonan said, “Cynicism is not realistic

and tough. It’s unrealistic and kind of cowardly because it means you don’t have to try.”

What it comes down to is that your attitude is a conscious choice. If you choose to be pessimistic,

you’re choosing to see the down side of every situation, judge people unfairly, and live unhappily the

rest of your life. What an oppressive existence!

On the other hand, if you choose optimism, you’re empowering yourself to see the positive side

of each challenge, seeing the good in people, helping them to see the good in life too, taking action

to further improve your own life, and living happily with friends and family who care about you.

Choosing to be more optimistic and positive does not mean you won’t encounter difficult times,

trauma, loss and many challenges. What it does mean is that you will have more power on your side

to help you through those tough times. You’ll bounce back faster and make better choices, rather

than letting life just wash over you. You’ll learn to be proactive, instead of reactive.

If you’re not naturally optimistic and positive, don’t worry. You can learn how to use your thoughts

to change your attitude and emotions. It won’t be easy; some days will be very challenging, but you

can do it. Each time your mind produces a negative thought, stop right there and turn it around to

find the positive aspect of the situation. Do this each time and soon, it will become a habit to be

positive and upbeat about your life.

It’s your choice. “Change your thoughts and change your world,” said Norman Vincent Peale.

POSITIVE THINKING IN LIFE AND RELATIONSHIPS

Positive thinking, in its most simplistic form, depends on your attitude. It makes you a winner or

a loser. It’s up to you. Whatever you think you can or cannot do, you’re right! (Henry Ford) And your

thoughts and attitude totally control your path, your destiny, and your future.

Charles Swindoll said, “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude,

to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money,

than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is

more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a

home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace

for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain

way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have,

and that is our attitude…. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to

it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.”

Attitude is a choice. Remember Shakespeare’s Hamlet, who said, “To be or not to be, that is the

question.” Your very attitude will determine whether or not you will be. It’s all in your mind.

“A man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to

run wild. But whether cultivated or neglected, it must and will bring forth. If no useful seeds are put

into it, then an abundance of useless weed-seeds will fall therein and will continue to produce their

Segment 4: The Art of Positive Consciousness

kind,” according to James Allen, from As A Man Thinketh (this book is discussed in Course G160:

Metaphysical Laws of Attraction and Abundance).

It is essential that you develop strength of character. When you do, people around you will admire

your fortitude. You must accept life as it comes and avoid a constant pity-party. Be strong and cope

well, and the world will stand with you. But whine and you stand alone! So no more excuses, no more

whining. Stop telling yourself what you can’t do; and do what you know you must do. Then do it to

the best of your ability.

Positive thinking means also putting forth effort in order to fulfill your true potential. Life is about

you and how you feel about yourself, not about whether you’re born to riches or poverty. It’s not

about a list of relationships you’ve been in and it’s not about what you look like. It’s not about how

much stuff you’ve accumulated or your status in the world’s eyes.

A positive attitude can literally change your life and make you happier and successful, but only if

you choose to do so. Attitude is everything. And with this in mind, let’s talk about how you can start

changing your attitude. For some, it might be as simple as flipping a switch. But for many, it takes

practice, and lots of it. Each detail must be explored and added to your day. Do you wake up in the

morning, jump out of bed, and say, “Good morning, Lord!” or do you drag yourself from the bed,

muttering, “Good Lord, it’s morning!”

Facing the day is a good place to start. For many, that’s where it all starts to come apart. We

dread getting up in the morning and having to face our day. Many people especially dread Mondays.

They resist giving up that weekend and going back to work (many call it drudgery).

In order to turn that around, you need to find something good about getting up and starting your

day. If you’re married, or otherwise involved with someone, try spending some time with that signif-

icant other. Have breakfast together, talk a few minutes, and smile at each other. I guarantee it will

make a huge difference in the way your day starts. If children are a part of your life, spend some

time with them too. Children have a way of looking at the world that can change your attitude for-

ever, if you let it.

Spend a few extra minutes on your appearance. It’s true that “clothes make the man, or woman.”

What they don’t tell you is that clothes make you feel different about yourself. Taking care of your

appearance makes you feel more confident. If you know you look good, you’ll feel good too. It’s a

real spirit lifter! There’s an old Hasidic saying that goes, “The man who has confidence in himself

gains the confidence of others.”

Watch your words and thoughts. Instead of saying to yourself, “Oh great, another Monday morning

to get through!” try seeing the more positive side to things. Monday morning could mean another new

start, a new week to make a difference and be more productive. And of course, if you are engaged

in doing what you love, it won’t matter which day of the week it is.

Quit telling yourself what you’re doing wrong and start building yourself up with more positive

thoughts about what you’re doing right. Your significant other loves you, your children love you, and

your friends think you’re great. Find some fun things that you and your friends/family can do together

this week. As Zig Ziglar says, focus on the “good, the clean, the pure, the powerful, and the positive.”

The more often you say negative things to yourself, the stronger those thoughts become, and the

more you’ll believe them, and the opposite is also true. If you’ve ever experienced a loved one who

beat you down with negativity, you understand that it can become a part of your own self-talk over

Segment 4: The Art of Positive Consciousness

time. Whatever happened in your past, in your childhood or early adulthood, it’s time to start talking

nicer to yourself. You deserve it; be kind to yourself. Don’t pick up that loved one’s negativity and

carry it any further. “If you think a certain thought long enough and hard enough, it becomes a fixed

belief and you will find yourself behaving on the outside in a manner consistent with it,” said moti-

vational speaker, Brian Tracy.

If you find it difficult to be nice to yourself and you often forget to say positive things, write

optimistic messages down on small cards and carry them in your pocket or purse. Then, when you

feel discouraged and need a pick-me-up, pull out a card and read what it says. Remind yourself of

accomplishments and how well you’re doing. Say a nice thing to yourself; and pretty soon, that’s

what your unconscious mind will believe.

Before you start whining about how you can’t think of any good things to say to yourself, stop and

remind yourself that your attitude change is not caused by some mysterious outside force. Change is

caused by you and your own thoughts. You’re the only one who has control over what you think and

say. Don’t blame your attitude on anyone else. You can choose to think and act differently. As con-

centration camp survivor, Viktor Frankl wrote in his seminal work, Man’s Search for Meaning, “Eve-

rything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s

attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

Don’t let another’s attitude affect your own. Too many are led by another’s negativity. “Everyone

was sure in a bad mood today,” you tell your friend. “I guess it just rubbed off on me too.” You can

choose to be in a bad mood; or you can tell yourself that just because others are not happy today,

doesn’t mean you have to be too. Maybe if you choose to be in a good mood, a happy mood, you can

influence others as well. Choose to be a good influence.

You can make that positive attitude a habit each day too. It can make a difference in others’

attitudes too and influence them to choose positive thinking. Any way you look at it, you can’t lose

when you choose the positive side to thinking.

Keep in mind though that you can’t control what other people say, do, or think. You can influence

their attitude, but you cannot dictate it. They will be the ones to think what they want to think, and

so do you. You can only be a good example to others of what positive attitude is capable of bringing

about. Rest assured, as an example to others, that you will annoy some, but you will definitely

influence many others.

What do you do if someone says unkind or hurtful things to you? This may be surprising, especially

if you have adopted an attitude of positive thinking. If you’ve found the positive side of the situation

and have shown kindness (positive consciousness), this could very well mean that it’s not really about

you at all. Remember, you’re not responsible for their attitude, although you might be able to influ-

ence it. They have to find their own path towards a positive way of thinking. They may be facing

obstacles that are unknown to you and others, but which they have to deal with on their own. Be

persistent in your positive attitude for yourself and others.

All people are entitled to their own opinion, which may differ from yours. It doesn’t mean it should

upset you; it’s simply their opinion. There are as many opinions in the world as there are human

beings. Not everyone is going to agree with you on any particular issue. But your truth is your truth,

no matter what anyone else says. It works the other way around as well—your truth is not necessarily

theirs.

Segment 4: The Art of Positive Consciousness

You must follow your own inner guidance. Shakti Gawain said, “Every time you don’t follow your

inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness.”

Marcus Aurelius said, “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing

itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” No one can

hurt your feelings or make you feel less valuable as a person, unless you allow it. It’s your life; make

it what you need it to be.

To keep that positive attitude flowing, spend time with friends and family who are of like mind.

Be with non-judgmental people who accept you just the way you are. You don’t need a lot of friends,

just a few really true friends. They are the ones who will love you no matter what, and can be

depended upon through trials and jubilations.

As soon as you allow yourself to develop that positive attitude, your life will begin to change for

the better. Positive thoughts allow for personal growth and success in all aspects of your life. As you

practice being positive, you will anticipate happiness and favorable outcomes more and more. You

won’t automatically wonder what bad thing is going to happen next in your life (positive conscious-

ness).

At this stage, the most important thing to remember is to be persistent. This is not something you

can do every now and then. This is a lifestyle change. Instead of telling yourself what you can’t do,

begin to tell yourself what you can do. Say it every day; practice the positive attitude in every sce-

nario, in every situation, practice, practice, practice!

The best part is that as human beings, we think all the time. It’s just a matter of training your

brain to think the correct way, to think in a positive manner. Want to change the way you feel about

things? Then change your thoughts. Change your thoughts and you change your emotions. Which

means you can be happy if you truly want to be, you just have to think it first. Now, this is not Peter

Pan’s thinking happy thoughts; this is more important than that. This is the secret to change the way

you feel about everything in your life. Your thoughts and emotions are tied together. They influence

how you will live your life every single day. So why not make the most of it?

So what is your priority in life? Do you want to be happy and successful, to love and be loved? Do

you want to grow and develop as a person? Then you must be persistent in your positive attitude, no

matter what happens. Practice, practice, practice.

Keep in mind too, that since we’re only human beings, we will have some downtimes; times when

we don’t feel very positive. This is normal, so don’t feel downhearted when it happens. It doesn’t

mean it’s all been for nothing and that you have to start from square one. Give yourself the leeway

to have a bad day, once in a while. It’s not the end of the world. Tomorrow will be a better day and

you can start again. Just pick up where you left off. This self-improvement thing is a day-to-day

project; all good things take time. You can’t just wake up one day and be completely changed.

Remember that it’s the journey, not the destination, that matters.

Each day, there are choices to make. Bad days will happen; it’s a given. So, get up the next day

and make the choice that it’s going to be a good day. Make it happen.

Be dedicated to a life of positive thinking and decision-making, then take action on those deci-

sions. Beware of homeostasis or just plain laziness.

Segment 4: The Art of Positive Consciousness

American social writer and philosopher, Eric Hoffer, said, “The remarkable thing is that we really

love our neighbor as ourselves; we do unto others as we do unto ourselves. We hate others when we

hate ourselves. We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves. We forgive others when

we forgive ourselves. We are prone to sacrifice others when we are ready to sacrifice ourselves.”

THE POSITIVE EFFECTS OF POSITIVE THINKING ON YOUR HEALTH

While everyone seems to know that negative feelings can eventually damage your health, there’s

a new theory that a positive attitude can help you sustain good health and maybe even make you feel

a whole lot better. Can it chase away illness? It sure can.

If a person has the ability to control good health, even a little bit, it’s worth looking into, wouldn’t

you say? If you don’t have anything to lose by maintaining a positive attitude, and all the good health

to gain, then why not maintain that optimistic spirit? At the very least, you’ll be happy, contented,

and able to handle anything life throws at you.

A good start is with some regular exercise, which brings with it great benefits already. It will clear

your mind, take care of stress, give you energy, and build up your stamina. That alone will improve

your health and make you feel good about yourself. As your body improves in strength and tone, you’ll

begin to feel proud of your ability and feel good about how much better you’re looking.

Want to minimize the risk of cardiovascular problems? Think positive! According to a 15-year study

by Dutch doctors, involving 545 men between the ages of 64 and 84, optimism and just an overall

great positive attitude reduced the health risk by half! That even beats the “laughter is the best

medicine” cliché.

So, why is it that people with a negative attitude or a feeling of hopelessness seem to sicken,

while people with a more positive attitude can recover more easily? Doctors have done studies on the

human immune system trying to figure out exactly that. Unfortunately, the immune system cells of

people who are hopeless and sad are unable to fight off diseases.

When these people are given hope and are able to think in a more positive manner, they develop

stronger immune systems. A healthy immune system stands a better chance of fighting off diseases

and allowing the person to regain good health. Part of the reason for this is that positive thinking and

emotions give a person more energy and stamina; and that helps the immune system.

Doctors have discovered a biochemical connection between the brain and the body. According to

the National Institute of Health at Georgetown University, emotions play a huge part in helping us

maintain healthy bodies. Believe it or not, the psychological and chemical processes that control the

neural, hormonal, and immune systems all use the very same neuropeptides in order to communicate.

Since the brain and the body use the same chemicals, it makes sense that these elements would

affect the mind as well as the body. It’s all tied together. Scientists used to refer to it as psychoso-

matic illness, but didn’t understand how the mind could make the body ill.

It makes perfect sense that if you can improve the mind, making it more hopeful and positive, it

would then affect the entire bodily system, helping to cure what ails you.

Unfortunately for us all, hope isn’t something your doctor can prescribe for you; you have to find

it on your own. So, before you give in to that constant pity party, consider your health. And never

trivialize the power of positive thinking.

Segment 4: The Art of Positive Consciousness

Prevention would seem to be the ideal way to go. Work on that attitude adjustment now, before

you become ill. A change of attitude will help your immune system work at peak efficiency, effec-

tively preventing most illnesses. Let that positive thinking and emotion energize you and make you

happier right now. Then learn to maintain that positive flow. The life you save could be your own.

Not only will positive attitude help you stay healthier, but it can even delay the aging process. A

study done at the University of Texas uncovered the fact that people who viewed life more positively

showed fewer signs of frailty than those who have a pessimistic outlook in life.

This is good news to the Baby Boomer generation. Thanks to modern medical breakthroughs, more

and more folks are living past their 60s, 70s, 80s, and some well into their 90s. Modern medicine may

be responsible for part of the longevity, but could it be possible that a positive attitude and more

recreational activities are the reasons so many are experiencing long life?

Retirement age used to be 65, at which point a person stops working and starts sitting around,

trying to find something useful to keep themselves busy. Boredom and loss of purpose may have ended

many lives. Without a useful reason for being on the planet, many just withered away.

In the new generation, senior citizens are proving that they still have contributions to give to this

world. Several decades of experience shouldn’t be wasted. We can learn a lot from our Boomers.

Many are enjoying life, keeping up with what’s going on in the world, traveling, and yes, still working

at what they love to do.

And this is where the positive attitude comes in. After several decades of dealing with change,

problems, and whatever life throws at them, they are still here showing us how it’s done, and learning

more. Muhammed Ali said, “The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted

30 years of his life.” Moreover, according to Patricia Neal, “A strong positive mental attitude will

create more miracles than any wonder drug.”

YOU ARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE

What determines who you are and what you believe? Your upbringing, your parents’ values and

standards, and your experiences so far in life all blend together to make you the person you are right

now. That’s not to say that we’re all experiencing family life the way it’s being seen on television.

Most of us didn’t grow up with the Cleavers.

If you didn’t experience great parenting, your upbringing brought with it different standards and

beliefs. This directly affects the way you deal with challenges. A person with more positive attitudes

and beliefs will deal with adversity differently than a more pessimistic personality. What one person

considers a failure or a loss will be viewed as just more of life’s many changes to another. It’s a fact,

however, that you will learn more from adversity than triumph.

What makes one person turn that adversity into positive energy, while another wants to turn up

their toes and be done with it? This is where your belief system comes into play. Those who believe

that nothing good will ever happen to them have doomed themselves from the start. Virgil said, “They

can conquer who believe they can.”

This is where you need to change your self-talk, as well as your focus. Stop telling yourself what

you can’t do and start convincing yourself that you can do whatever you put your mind into. What

you say about yourself will affect your whole life and everything you try or attempt to do. If you’ve

Segment 4: The Art of Positive Consciousness

already made up your mind that you can’t do something, it’s all over; the handwriting is on the wall

and the fat lady has sung.

Things not working out exactly as you hoped or planned? Maybe it’s time to try something new. A

positive attitude makes the transition easier and less painful, not to mention less scary. Taking risks

is pretty scary; but if you don’t try, you’ll never know if you have the right stuff. Give yourself the

wakeup call before it’s too late. Taking a risk can make you feel alive and eager to move on. Let’s

face it. Just getting up in the morning is a leap of faith some days. Have confidence in yourself and

your ability to handle change and risks.

Handling things well when everything is going along smoothly is one thing. Maintaining a positive

attitude when everything is falling apart is the real challenge. And when things are not going well,

it’s easy to wish you were anywhere else, doing anything else, than where you are. We’ve all heard

the old homily about the grass being greener on the other side of the fence. But the truth is, the

grass is greener wherever it’s been watered. Handle things where you are; make them better, rather

than wishing you’re elsewhere.

Accept the situation as it is, then find the positive side. That’s how we grow and learn from our

experiences. Acceptance makes it easier for us to see how we can improve that situation. Then

change your attitude and watch as your life begins to change as well. Katherine Mansfield said, “Could

we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to be

different.”

Martha Beck said, “Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not

just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.”

You must never say never. Believe you can have whatever you want in life; and understand that

doesn’t mean wishing and hoping. It means working, learning, and striving for what you want in this

life.

At the same time, don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t think that if everything hasn’t come out

right, that it’s just because you didn’t think hard enough. Developing a positive attitude doesn’t

happen overnight. It’s a lifelong process, but it will happen.

Start by removing negativity from your life as much as possible. Watching television news and

reading the newspaper will unfortunately fill your life with bad news on a daily basis. Try taking a

newsbreak; turn off the set and put away the paper for a while.

It’s sad to say, but another source of negativity comes in the form of friends and relatives. There

are those that constantly put out negative vibrations. Every thought and emotion from them is nega-

tive and becomes more than we can bear. They never find a positive side to anything. For them, the

glass is always half empty and they never see the silver lining to that cloud. They don’t mean to do

it, but they make it very difficult to develop that positive side of ourselves that’s so important to our

well-being.

And it’s human nature for them to pour out more and more negativity. Due to their influence, we

also tend to put out negative vibrations. You may have to spend much less time with these toxic folks,

at least until you find your footing in the positive side of the world.

Segment 4: The Art of Positive Consciousness

HOW TO STAY MOTIVATED IN THINKING POSITIVELY

Okay, you’ve decided that the positive living approach is definitely the way to go. You’ve started

greeting the new day as positively as you can. You’re meeting and greeting the world with a whole

new attitude and your life is starting to show the signs already. People are actually being influenced

by your new attitude and responding in kind. It really works!

Then something happens to trip you up just a little. You receive some bad news and wham! You’re

right back where you started. How could this happen? What happened to your resolve? You need

something you can do on a regular basis to keep yourself motivated, but what?

Take a time out, just for yourself. Take a few deep breathes in through your nose, out slowly

through your mouth. Remind yourself of your objective to remain positive despite life. Breathe….

Don’t take yourself or the situation too seriously.

Above all, stay away from negativity in any form. Avoid the cynics and pessimists, and any who

only want to complain. They will eventually drag you down to their level, and your motivation will

disappear like dew on a hot morning.

Most importantly, don’t ever give up. Keep dreaming about what you want; keep that image in

your mind, night and day. Work hard at what you want to achieve and never let negative thoughts

cloud your mind. If you have faith in nothing else, at least have faith in yourself. And when the going

gets tough, find ways to keep your spirits up and keep going. Keep moving forward.

Avoid boredom and stay active. When you’re motivated, you can’t be bored. Hang around with

excited, motivated people and it will rub off on you too. Dream about your future. Charles Kettering

said, “I am not interested in the past. I am interested only in the future, for that is where I expect

to spend the rest of my life.”

There are going to be some days that will take every bit of will power to feel motivated and move

forward. What can you do? Try thinking of past successes; things you’ve accomplished that make you

feel good about yourself, things you’re proud of yourself for doing. You may need to sit down and

write them down on paper to make them more real for you right now. You may need some proof that

your life hasn’t been a waste of time and energy.

Now list all the plans you’ve got going for you right now or dreams that are in the works, so to

speak. Let yourself get excited over the prospect of realizing those dreams in the near future. See if

you can find new ways to bring about those dreams even sooner. That’s sure to motivate you when

all else fails.

Is it possible to be positive all the time? Can optimism be maintained on a continuous basis? The

answer is no, of course not; but if you work at it, trying to keep yourself on track, you will have many

more up days than down. Positive thinking and action can actually start to multiply around you, one

thing leading to another, like a wave building up before it hits the beach. According to Colin Powell,

“Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.”

Another great motivator and one which most busy people seem to completely forget about is to

take a vacation now and then. You need to recharge those batteries, refresh your attitude, and renew

your commitment to yourself. Without sufficient rest and relaxation, you will burn out fast. Taking

time off from work is essential to your mental, physical, and emotional health. A change of scene is

Segment 4: The Art of Positive Consciousness

refreshing especially to your mental state, and is essential to maintain your positive attitude towards

life.

EXPECT MIRACLES

The dictionary says a miracle is “a wonderful or surpassing example of some quality” (Diction-

ary.com, “miracle”). We should expect great things, and stop expecting the worst in every situation.

Expect something miraculous, and you might just be happily surprised. Thomas A. Edison said, “If

we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.”

You can actually create happiness. You can be happy, but you must first choose to be happy.

Abraham Lincoln once said, “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

Happiness is where you see it.

The best way to show your happiness, and indeed to increase that happiness, is to show gratitude.

Show gratitude to the people in your life who have touched you, lifted you up, and taught you the

important life lessons. This will increase the positive flow and will influence others to be grateful

too.

When the days seem dark and you’re wondering what happened to the positive sunshine in your

life, think of those who taught you how to enjoy life. Expect miracles. Learn to count your blessings;

find some every day and write them down. Listing your blessings will magnify your positive attitude

and emotions. Each day, see if you can find ten things to be grateful for in your life. It may be large

blessings some days and tiny ones the next, but they all count.

Apply what you’ve learned about a positive attitude and avoid negativity by all means. Be your

own positive, creative self and enjoy having fun. Your attitude will draw other people to you like a

moth to a flame. Someone with a happy, joyful nature automatically attracts others. They just nat-

urally want to be around someone who exudes joy and happiness. Who knows, you might just find

your soul mate!

Another way to show gratitude is to exhibit appreciation to those who make a difference in your

life, even in little ways. Notice even the little things they do for you. Compliment them on their

appearance or their great ideas. Make note of their efforts, even if those efforts don’t produce posi-

tive results. Say thank you, remember their birthdays, send them flowers. Most importantly, tell your

friends and family how important they are to you.

On the subject of gratitude, Marianne Williamson had these words for us, “Gratitude has a cleans-

ing effect on the soul, healing us from the inside out. When something good happens and we give

thanks for it, then its positive effect expands within us.” She also encourages us to keep gratitude

journals, stating that “gratitude is an opener of locked-up blessings.” She said, “Gratitude journals

are not just lovely, they work. When we say ‘thank you’ we are reminded of our place in the great

and grand design of things.”

If you’re on the path to success and positive thinking, gratitude is not only a good idea, it’s essen-

tial in your personal and professional growth. Gratitude will dispel the negative feelings and keep you

on the right path.

By spending your days expecting miraculous things to happen, thinking in your mind that miracles

will start to occur, you actually attract them into your life. You’re focusing on the positive rather

Segment 4: The Art of Positive Consciousness

than the negative. It’s similar to abundance; you begin to draw it towards you, instead of chasing it

away. You have more emotional strength available to you than you ever dreamed possible.

Remember to give yourself time and space to grow and learn; to believe in your own special power,

and to be happy. Don’t discount your personal value and don’t let anyone else devalue you either.

Know in your heart what you’re capable of; know your strengths and weaknesses. Enjoy life and all

it has to offer. There will be bad times, but there will always be good times too. Keep in mind that

you can’t have one without the other.

Life may slap you in the face now and then, but learn from your mistakes. Pick yourself up, dust

yourself off, and start again. Don’t make the same mistakes. Make different ones this time. You’ll be

stronger each time something happens and you’ll be better able to handle things the next time. Learn

constantly. Stretch your mind! As Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “A mind stretched to a new idea never

goes back to its original dimensions.”

POSITIVE THINKING AT WORK

You only have a minute,

Only 60 seconds in it,

Forced upon you, can’t refuse it,

Didn’t seek it, didn’t choose it.

You must suffer if you lose it.

Give account if you abuse it.

It’s just a tiny little minute,

But your whole future is in it.

Dr. Benjamin E. Mayo wrote that poem and it says it all. Don’t waste any minute, your whole

future is in it. In order to utilize your life well down to the last minute, you must apply positive

thinking any way you can to your life.

Positive thinking is one of the keys to success in the business world. And it starts with how you

think about yourself, in relation to your work. If you’re not as successful as you want to be, who’s

stopping you? Who’s holding you back? Most likely, the only one stopping you from attaining success

is you.

Are you thinking that you’re just average in everything? Being average isn’t a bad thing, just lim-

iting. If that’s all you think you can accomplish, then that’s all you will accomplish. Why stop at

average? Why stop growing at all? There’s always room for improvement. It could be that your

thoughts are keeping you from being where you want to be, where you deserve to be. Maybe you’re

dissatisfied with your job, or the level you’re working at. You know you’re capable of more. Maybe

your job is stressful, or maybe you’re not making enough money. What do you do?

You start with your thoughts on the matter. Are you constantly telling yourself that you can’t do

any better, or make any more? Are you telling yourself that stress just comes with the territory? Do

you feel you don’t deserve something better? Has your self-esteem taken a beating? Why would you

settle for that?

Segment 4: The Art of Positive Consciousness

Once again, you need to change your thoughts. It’s not up to somebody else to change things for

you; it’s up to you. The stress, the dissatisfaction, the low self-esteem, and the negative self-talk

are all things you can change, because they are all things you’ve brought to the party, so to speak.

In your mind, you’ve told yourself all the lies, or you’ve blamed other outside influences on your lack

of success.

How do you turn things around? Start by setting yourself some goals; figure out what you want.

Don’t tell yourself you can’t do it or you don’t deserve it. Don’t convince yourself that the boss simply

doesn’t like you, and that’s the reason you haven’t advanced in your job.

If you don’t like your job, but don’t feel that changing is a possibility right now, you have to find

something about your job that you do like. Maybe there’s an individual that you enjoy working with,

or there’s some facet of the job that you don’t mind so much. Focus on that and find a reason to do

your best. The more you convince yourself that your job is dreadful, the harder it will be to go to

work each

day.

A positive attitude can make the job seem less stressful or less overwhelming. A change of attitude

at work will change the emotions you feel as well. Finding the upside to the work place will make all

the difference in how you feel, in your productivity, and in your interaction with others.

Find out what you need to know to improve the entire situation. If what you need is to learn new

skills, approach that with a positive attitude and learn all you can. The irony is that the more you

think you know, the less you actually do know. Go in with an open mind and a good attitude, and

improve your skills. This will make a huge difference in your work life.

The brain is a wondrous machine, but requires sustained effort to maintain it. You must train your

brain to consider all possibilities before making decisions. Let your mind explore new places and

probabilities. Learn to take what you see and hear, roll it around in your mind, and see what you can

make of it. Learn from others; wisdom shared is wisdom expanded. When faced with something dif-

ferent and difficult, don’t give up and say you can’t do it. Consider it a challenge.

To develop your intellect, you must use your mind constantly. If you don’t think for yourself, but

allow others to make your decisions and choices, you lose your place in the destiny reserved for you.

Consider your gifts; and yes, you do have them. Ask yourself what you can accomplish with those

gifts. What can you offer? In order to develop positive thinking skills, you must list your talents and

abilities. If you’re honestly not sure what they are, ask some friends and co-workers. They’ll have no

trouble enumerating them for you.

Attitude is what will help you find your wings and fly, or keep you grounded for life. Learn the

discipline you will need, not only to survive, but to thrive as well. Set your determination level to

high and never allow yourself to be thwarted in your goals.

Another way to positive action is to watch the words you speak to others in your work life. Honor

those words; if you make a promise, stand by your word.

As an employee, how do you respond to a request? Is your response, “No problem,” or “Consider

it done!” If your first response is to look aggrieved and mutter, “I can’t do it,” or “that’s not my

job,” you need to stop and consider an attitude adjustment. It’s important to always show up for

others and for yourself. Brian Tracy said, “Your attitude is an expression of your values, beliefs and

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expectations.” Expect more of yourself. Maybe that’s what’s been missing. According to a Harvard

Study, “Success in life is 85% attitude, 15% aptitude.”

In order to achieve the success you crave, you need opportunities. These opportunities begin to

show themselves as soon as your attitude changes. You will become just easier to be around, to work

with, and to talk to. Everyone loves being around a positive person. They’re happier, they smile more,

they’re more confident, and they tend to make the people around them feel more confident too.

You’ll find more people will come to you for advice and help, because they can see you’re a can-do

kind of person. If you feel good about yourself, so do those with whom you come into contact each

day.

So how do you do this attitude shift at work? Start by looking your co-workers in the eye and

smiling at them. Give praise lavishly. If some co-workers did a good job, tell them and show them.

When they did some tasks or favors for you, say thank you. This shows respect and appreciation; and

who doesn’t enjoy that?

Instead of the usual negative discussion at the water cooler, why not keep it more upbeat. Discuss

positive subjects. Be encouraging with co-workers. You’d be amazed at the difference you can make

in your workplace when you display a more positive attitude.

Another way to success is to make plans and write them down. Is there a special job you desire?

Write it down; but don’t stop there! Figure out the steps necessary to attaining that particular posi-

tion. What do you need to do to get from Point A to Point B? Do you need to upgrade your skills, take

classes, get certified? Write all the details down; but still, don’t stop there either. Take inspired

action. Robert Ringer said, “Nothing happens until something moves.” So get moving!

Maybe your dream job is actually working for yourself. You can make this dream come true; use

that new positive attitude. Figure out what you want in life, your purpose. What do you want to be

when you grow up? Write it down, make a plan, and find out what you need to get started. Then get

moving. Act with enthusiasm and faith. And don’t forget to take advantage of any and all opportuni-

ties; you never know which one will be the key to your success. “Small opportunities are often the

beginnings of great enterprises,” said Demosthenes.

Here too is a place where you may run into critics and naysayers. They will try their best to

dissuade you in your efforts to attain your dream. They mean well, but do not listen to them. Many

times, they attempt to change your mind about your dream venture, because deep down in their

hearts, they are jealous that you’re brave enough to try it and they are not. Unconsciously, they

know if you try it and succeed, it means they’re wrong; and they don’t want to admit that.

It’s not wrong to dream big, to want more, and to strive towards success. As for the naysayers and

the critics, don’t tell them what you’re going to do, show them; just do it! They can’t criticize you

for succeeding; no one argues with success that’s an accomplished fact.

As Patty Hansen said, “You create your opportunities by asking for them.”

POSITIVE THINKING AND HAPPY CHILDREN: HOW TO BUILD THEIR SELF-ESTEEM

It’s a well-known fact that children learn what they live. Ask any number of child psychiatrists to

corroborate this. Too many parents and guardians think children, especially young children, don’t

know what’s going on around them at home. Anger and negativity are not beyond their understanding.

Segment 4: The Art of Positive Consciousness

The younger children may not understand all the words, but they do understand the underlying emo-

tions. They can feel those emotions.

Negativity thrown from one adult to another is bad enough, but when that negativity is directed

at children, it can be devastating. Young children want so much to please their parents; they want

and need acceptance, love, and understanding.

Charles Thompson, in his book “What a Great Idea!” quotes a study showing that at home, parents

used eighteen negative statements for every positive one. These are usually directed at their children

and can add up to a shocking 432 negative statements in one day!

According to James L. Hymes, Jr., “Young children scare easily—a tough tone, a sharp reprimand,

an exasperated glance, a peeved scowl will do it. Little signs of rejection—you don’t have to hit young

children to hurt them—cut very deeply.”

The moment you begin to change your attitude from negative to positive, you will undoubtedly

notice an immediate change in the children’s attitude as well. When children are around calm, happy,

positive adults, they absolutely blossom. We’ve discussed the fact that you can influence others with

your attitudes and be influenced as well. Well, that goes double for your child.

The Law of Attraction is seen here more than just about anywhere else. If you are feeling happy

and positive about life, and you interact with your child, they pick up on that very quickly and will

respond in kind. Like attracts like. And just as easily, that child can pick up on your bad mood, your

unhappiness, and your negativity, and respond just as quickly.

A word of warning on this point. Children cannot be fooled with false attitudes. You can’t pretend

to be positive and upbeat. Believe me they know the difference. If it’s not genuine, they’ll know;

children hate to be lied to just as much as the rest of us do.

So, if you want your children to be positive in their outlook towards life, they have to see it from

you; they have to live it every day. It has to be a part of their daily life. They need to breathe it in

from all around them constantly. It must become a habit with you, to become a habit with them.

Author Carol B. Hillman said, “One of the most important things we adults can do for young children

is to model the kind of person we would like them to be.”

Equally as important is their sense of values. They must learn to value themselves and others for

who they are, not for what they possess. It doesn’t matter how many video games you give your

children to enjoy, but their behavior towards others and their feelings are the ones that count. They

must learn to judge other people for what’s inside them – not on how they look, where they live, or

what they own. This is something that requires a lifetime of training for them to learn the lessons.

In our world of status symbols, it’s not easy to teach these values. There’s a lot of competition

out there in the media and in the schools. It’s up to you, as a parent, to instill good values in your

children; and that starts with you as a role model. Do you constantly talk about money and buying

things? Is possession of riches more about things than relationships? Teach them about being there

for friends and relatives, rather than buying things for them. Encourage your children to find out

what’s unique and special about their friends, rather than the size of the television that friend owns.

It’s essential at an early age that they learn through your attitudes, words, and behavior that the

important things in life can’t be bought.

Segment 4: The Art of Positive Consciousness

This is where you begin to instill your beliefs in your children as a standard in their life. As they

grow, they will develop their own belief system, based on what they’ve been taught and the world

around them. Make sure what they learn from you is positive and rich in value. Teach them about

giving and doing for others less fortunate than themselves. Learning gratitude from an early age is

always a good lesson. Children can contribute in their own little ways.

Unfortunately, these lessons aren’t always taught in school. They must be taught in the home. As

your children get older, you can even discuss positive thinking with them, showing them how to apply

it in their own lives. You can even point out the difference between positive thinking and negative

thinking, using television programs as examples.

Many parents think that a child’s life is all happiness and joy; that negativity and worries couldn’t

possibly be a part of it when they’re so young. They couldn’t be more wrong. Children can become

very anxious, even at an early age. Self-criticism comes next. While some children never seem to

worry about things at all, others are filled with self-doubts.

They worry about school and doing well. They worry about having friends. Sometimes, they worry

about being different than the other children. You must show them how to focus on good things—

happy things—rather than focusing on what might happen if things go wrong.

Teach them about the Law of Attraction. Show them the importance of saying good things about

themselves and others. Remember, you are their role model. Sometimes, you’re even their hero.

Don’t let them down. And don’t tell them how they should behave, show them. That’s how children

learn. If you’re constantly worried or putting yourself down, they will pick up the same habits. Chil-

dren learn what they live.

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