Posted: March 12th, 2023

Touchstone 3.2 ( English )

1

Touchstone 1.2 English

Mohammed Alshaghathirah Comment by Eackloff, Robyn: Hi Mohammed,
I am pleased to evaluate your assignment today.

Sophia Learning

English Composition II

Research question: Is death penalty a more effective capital punishment than life imprisonment without parole? Comment by Eackloff, Robyn: You have chosen a relevant and debatable topic.

Thesis statement: Although there are arguments that death penalty strongly deter people from committing serious crimes, life imprisonment without parole should be used instead of death penalty because it is ethically questionable, it is costly and it is irreversible in case an innocent person gets executed. Comment by Eackloff, Robyn: The working thesis statement takes a stance on a debatable topic.

Detailed Outline

I. Introduction

A. A Hook with a brief history, religious details and facts on the death penalty globally.

B. Briefly discuss the dilemma surrounding the death penalty. Source: Shona olalere on “The Dilemma of Death Penalty.”

http://dx.doi.org/10.13140/RG.2.2.20925.51688

C. A working thesis statement: Although there are arguments that death penalty strongly deter people from committing serious crimes, life imprisonment without parole should be used instead of death penalty because it is ethically questionable, it is costly and it is irreversible in case of an innocent person gets executed. Comment by Eackloff, Robyn: The thesis statement will be the last sentence of the introduction.

II. Ethical argument

A. On the grounds that the society has some moral obligation and religious views on human life, death penalty is ethically questionable.

1. Societal obligation

2. Religious views

3. Worldwide view

4. Supporting sources

:

a. ACLU (2012). Revised- THE CASE AGAINST THE DEATH PENALTY

b. Olalere, S. (2019). “The Dilemma of Death Penalty.”

http://dx.doi.org/10.13140/RG.2.2.20925.51688

III. Cost argument Comment by Eackloff, Robyn: Ensure that these major headers align with the thesis you develop.

A. The complexity, the length as well as finality of death sentence is more expensive than upkeep coast of an individual in prison.

1. Reasons why death penalty is costly

2. Supporting sources:

a. DPIC report (2022) – Cost of death penalty.

b. Perez (2022) – Legal expert explains cost behind a death row sentence.

https://www.11alive.com/article/news/crime/trials/high-cost-behind-death-row-explained/

IV. Irreversibility of death sentence

A. In case of any human error, it is impossible to reverse death penalty.

1. Inevitability of errors in criminal justice system

2. Errors that can occur death penalty cases

3. Wrongful execution cases- there are several cases of innocent individuals being executed.

4. Supporting sources

a. James, Jeff and Vaerie (2022), DPIC- Technical errors can kill

b. PHILLIP MORRIS- INNOCENT ON DEATH ROW: HEAR THEIR STORIES.

HTTPS://WWW.NATIONALGEOGRAPHIC.COM/HISTORY/ARTICLE/SENTENCED-TO-DEATH-BUT-INNOCENT-THESE-ARE-STORIES-OF-JUSTICE-GONE-WRONG#

: Comment by Eackloff, Robyn: Good work on the sources – keep in mind that the most credible and relevant sources are those that are from .edu, gov or scholarly sources and are less than 10 years’ old.

V. Advantages of life imprisonment without parole

A. Scales the punishment in an effective way

B. Errors in the case can be corrected

C. Less costly

D. Supporting source

1. Bagaric, M. and Svilar, J., (2022)- A (Partial and Principled) Defense of Sentences of Life Imprisonment- 695

VI. Counter Arguments

A. Death penalty deters crimes in the society Comment by Eackloff, Robyn: You include a section for the counterargument. Good.

1. No evidence on this claim.

B. An individual that commits murder, through their action, they forfeit human rights, thus their life right should be forfeit too.

1. Violets the moral order

C. Supporting source

1. Death penalty information center (2022)- Deterrence

VII. Conclusion

A. Life sentence without parole is a better punishment compared to death penalty because not only is it less costly but is more ethical and help present innocent execution. Comment by Eackloff, Robyn: You will restate the thesis in the conclusion.

B. It is important to consider the concepts surrounding death penalty and the its impacts in the society

Reflective Questions

1. Learning to conduct research is important because it is a skill you will use both in academia and in your professional life. It improves critical thinking and empowers you to find information for yourself. Consider the process of researching as a whole. What was the most challenging aspect of the process for you? (2-3 sentences)

The most challenging aspect in the research process was selecting a research topic and organizing all the sources. Selecting a topic is not only the first step in the process but also it is vital for it to be done well or correctly. On the other hand, there were various sources on the topic, thus analyzing each source to find if it is credible for the topic was very difficult.

2. The working thesis statement is a proposed answer to your research question. It should clearly identify an arguable topic and take a position on one side of that topic. Analyze the effectiveness of your working thesis statement. (3-4 sentences)

My thesis statement is a one sentence statement, which provides a focus to my argument. In other words, it develops my position clearly under sentences. It is also not too narrow or too broad, thus it can provide enough information to be able to cover the entire topic in one paper. In addition, I tried providing a general opposing reason on the topic, an alternative or recommendation on what else could be done and my supporting reasons in one sentence. Thus, this makes the thesis strong.

3. A detailed outline is an effective tool for laying out the progression of an argument. It allows you to consider the arrangement and organization of your ideas, as well as choose places to incorporate outside source materials. Review your detailed outline and summarize the argument you’ve presented. (3-4 sentences).

For my outline, I began by providing the introduction outline, where I have also added the thesis and supporting source, then have outlined each of the reasons, which presents all the arguments. Each part of the reason outline, which includes, ethical argument, cost argument and Irreversibility of death sentence, I have provided a topic sentence, sub-topics and presents all the sources and evidenced use to support my arguments. Then counterarguments, which are very important in an argumentative essay and I have outlined two of them and stated the opposing view. Finally, the conclusion, which provides a short summary of the main points, as such, I think the organization of the work is good enough to present all the information effectively.

4. You will use the same topic on three of the remaining Touchstones in this course. What kind of feedback would be helpful for you? What are specific questions you might have as you go deeper into the research process? (2-3 sentences).

Even though I believe the information provided is effective, feedback on issues such as the effectiveness of the overall structure of the paper. In addition, feedback on the clarity of the reference. I think in the research process I might go deeper on how to evaluate and analyze research sources. Comment by Eackloff, Robyn: I hope you find my comments helpful.

Mohammed Alshaghathirah Comment by Eackloff, Robyn: Hi Mohammed,
I am pleased to evaluate your assignment today.

Sophia Learning

English Composition II

Annotated Bibliography

Olalere, S. (2019). “The Dilemma of Death Penalty.” Comment by Eackloff, Robyn: Good work on the sources – keep in mind that the most credible and relevant sources are those that are from .edu, gov or scholarly sources and are less than 10 years’ old.

This is an article by Shona Olalere presenting both pro- and anti-death-penalty viewpoints. The book reviews the many arguments for and against capital punishment and delves into the ethical, legal, and practical ramifications of this severe form of punishment. This essay is helpful for my research since it gives a general summary of the discussion around capital punishment and looks at the different sides of the issue and their repercussions.

ACLU (2012). Revised- The Case Against the Death Penalty

This document is an ACLU publication that details the organization’s position on the death sentence and the different reasons against it. Evidence suggesting life in prison without the possibility of release is preferable to the death sentence is shown, as are the ethical, legal, economic, and practical ramifications of that option. As I argue that life in prison without the possibility of parole is preferable to the death sentence, this publication is helpful to my article. Comment by Eackloff, Robyn: You explain how the source will be used to support the argument.

DPIC report (2022) – Cost of Death Penalty.

The Death Penalty Information Center (DPIC) published a paper calculating the monetary expenses of carrying out the death sentence. The paper analyzes the many expenses involved in a death penalty case, including those for trial, appeal, and execution. It presents evidence that a life sentence in prison without the possibility of release is more cost-effective than the death penalty. The study is helpful for my thesis since it backs up my claim that life in prison without the possibility of release is cheaper than the death sentence. Comment by Eackloff, Robyn: You explain how the source will be used to support the argument.

Perez (2022) – Legal Expert Explains Cost Behind a Death Row Sentence.

An attorney wrote this piece, which analyzes the different monetary expenses of a death sentence. Life in prison without the possibility of release is a more cost-effective punishment than the death penalty when considering the many expenses involved in a death sentence, including the cost of trials, appeals, and executions. This article is helpful for my paper since it gives data in favor of my thesis that life in prison without the possibility of release is a more cost-effective alternative to the death sentence. Comment by Eackloff, Robyn: It is good to note specifically how the source will be used to support the argument.

James, Jeff and Vaerie (2022), DPIC- Technical Errors Can Kill Comment by Eackloff, Robyn: Please be sure to list references in alphabetical order.

Several potential mistakes that might arise in death sentence cases are investigated in this essay by Jeff James and Valerie Vaughn of the Death Penalty Information Center (DPIC). It looks at how the criminal justice system may make mistakes on the technical side, and it shows why life without parole is a better and more secure option than the death sentence. This article will help me with my thesis since it backs up my claim that life without parole is a more practical and humane punishment than the death sentence.

Bagaric, M. and Svilar, J., (2022)- A (Partial and Principled) Defense of Sentences of Life Imprisonment- 695

This article draws on a book by Mirko Bagaric and Jadranka Svilar that considers the positive aspects of a life sentence without the possibility of release. Data is presented to support the claim that life without parole is preferable to the death sentence. The article explores the benefits of this alternative punishment, including its capacity to scale the punishment and repair mistakes effectively. As I argue that life in prison without the possibility of parole is preferable to the death sentence, this publication is helpful to my article.

Death penalty information center (2022)- Deterrence

The Death Penalty Information Center (DPIC) has produced a booklet that analyzes the claim that capital punishment is an effective deterrent. It looks at the arguments for and against the death sentence and shows how evidence does not support the latter. The article is helpful for my paper since it disproves my thesis that the death sentence is an efficient deterrent. Comment by Eackloff, Robyn: You explain how the source will be used to support the argument.

Reflection Questions

1.
Accurately recording bibliographic information is essential and saves you time, as you can transfer this information to the References page of your drafted essay. Each source entry should include a brief summary of the source as well as 3-4 sentences describing how you intend to use that source to build or support your argument. Discuss how your annotated bibliography meets these criteria. (2-3 sentences)

By summarizing each source and explaining how it will be utilized to develop or bolster my argument, my annotated bibliography satisfies these requirements. I briefly summarize the source’s contents and explain how it will be utilized to further my case for each one. In addition, I provide a thorough analysis of the reasons against the death sentence, so that readers may decide for themselves whether or not this kind of lethal punishment is appropriate.

2. Which strategies were most helpful for you when searching for credible sources? (2-3 sentences)

The best methods for locating reliable materials were exploring library databases, consulting with librarians, and using scholarly search engines like Google Scholar. The library databases offered a plethora of information, and the librarian pointed me out correctly when I needed help locating more specialized sources. Also, Google Scholar helped me refine my search and locate more specific sources for my analysis.

3. What difficulties did you face while searching for credible sources? How did you overcome these difficulties? (2-3 sentences)

Trying to determine which websites were trustworthy and which were not was a challenge for me when researching. I overcame this problem by researching the credibility of my sources and reading evaluations published by those already versed in the subject. In addition, I sought sources referenced by other authorities in the same area since this is an additional indicator of the source’s reliability. Comment by Eackloff, Robyn: If you are still in need of research, you might peruse Google Scholar.

Sophia Pathways for College Credit – English Composition II
SAMPLE TOUCHSTONE AND SCORING

Logan Stevens

English Composition II

December 20, 2019

Where’s the Beef?: Ethics and the Beef Industry

Americans love their beef. Despite the high rate of its consumption, in recent years

people in the United States have grown increasingly concerned about where their food comes

from, how it is produced, and what environmental and health impacts result from its production.

These concerns can be distilled into two ethical questions: is the treatment of cattle humane and

is there a negative environmental impact of beef production? For many, the current methods of

industrial beef production and consumption do not meet personal ethical or environmental

standards. Therefore, for ethical and environmental reasons, people should limit their beef

consumption.

The first ethical question to consider is the humane treatment of domesticated cattle. It

has been demonstrated in multiple scientific studies that animals feel physical pain as well as

emotional states such as fear (Grandin & Smith, 2004, para. 2). In Concentrated Animal Feeding

Operations (CAFOs), better known as “factory farms” due to their industrialized attitude toward

cattle production, cattle are often confined to unnaturally small areas; fed a fattening, grain-based

diet; and given a constant stream of antibiotics to help combat disease and infection. In his essay,

“An Animal’s Place,” Michael Pollan (2002) states that beef cattle often live “standing ankle

Comment [SL1]: Hi Logan! This is a great title.

Comment [SL2]: It will help strengthen your opening
sentence to include some sort of facts or statistics about
beef consumption in America.

Comment [SL3]: Throughout your essay, you talk about
more than just limiting the consumption of beef. How could
you strengthen your Thesis Statement to connect all of
those points?

Sophia Pathways for College Credit – English Composition II
SAMPLE TOUCHSTONE AND SCORING

deep in their own waste eating a diet that makes them sick” (para. 40). Pollan describes

Americans’ discomfort with this aspect of meat production and notes that they are removed from

and uncomfortable with the physical and psychological aspects of killing animals for food. He

simplifies the actions chosen by many Americans: “we either look away—or stop eating

animals” (para. 32). This decision to look away has enabled companies to treat and slaughter

their animals in ways that cause true suffering for the animals. If Americans want to continue to

eat beef, alternative, ethical methods of cattle production must be considered.

The emphasis on a grain-based diet, and therefore a reliance on mono-cropping, also

contributes to the inefficient use of available land. The vast majority of grain production (75-

90% depending on whether corn or soy) goes to feeding animals rather than humans, and cattle

alone account for a significant share. As a result, a majority of land available for agriculture also

goes to producing livestock, whether actually housing the animals or growing grain to feed them

(Lappé, 2010, p. 22). This inefficiency means that a disproportionate amount of agricultural,

food, and monetary resources are poured into a type of cattle production which has been

demonstrated to be inhumane and to have negative environmental consequences.

In addition to the inhumane treatment of animals, CAFOs also raise ethical questions in

terms of the environmental impacts of industrial agriculture. Because cattle raised on factory

farms are primarily “grain-fed,” meaning that their diet largely consists of corn and/or soy rather

than grass or other forage, huge amounts of grain are required to provide the necessary feed. This

grain comes primarily from “monocropping,” an agricultural practice that involves planting the

same crop year after year in the same field. Although rotating crops to different fields each

season helps to retain the natural balance of nutrients in the soil, mono-cropping is considered to

be more efficient on an industrial scale, providing larger yields of grain even though it also

Comment [SL4]: Great use of sources! The transitions here
could be a bit smoother and the connection between these
ideas could be a bit more explicit.

Comment [SL5]: This is a great topic sentence.

Comment [SL6]: In terms of cohesion, you may want to
look into how your paragraphs flow from one to the other.
The content of your essay is great, but how could you
structure it differently to make it even better?

Sophia Pathways for College Credit – English Composition II
SAMPLE TOUCHSTONE AND SCORING

requires the use of more chemical fertilizers to provide adequate nutrients for the plants. These

chemicals can leach into the groundwater, polluting both the surrounding land and the water

supply.

Other environmental issues include the amount of manure produced by factory farmed

cattle. Traditionally, cattle graze a large area and distribute their waste accordingly. In contained

situations such as CAFOs, however, animal waste builds up in a relatively small area and the

runoff from rainstorms can potentially contaminate the groundwater (Sager, 2008, para. 7).

Furthermore, because closely contained animals are more prone to disease, factory-farmed cattle

are routinely treated with antibiotics, which can also leach into the local ground and water,

potentially affecting humans. According to Brian Palmer (2010), “Based on some estimates, we

spend more than $4 billion annually trying to clean up CAFO manure runoff. In addition, the

long-term, low-dose antibiotics CAFOs give livestock can lead to antibiotic-resistant bacteria,

further undermining our dwindling supply of useful medicines” (para. 12). The negative impacts

of antibiotic runoff, manure contamination, fossil fuel use, and mono-cropping indicate that

sourcing beef from CAFOs is neither an ethically responsible nor an environmentally sustainable

decision.

An alternative to the grain-fed cattle raised in CAFOs is cattle which are allowed to range

and forage for grass and other greenery as their primary form of nourishment. This “grass-fed”

beef is, almost by definition, more humane than grain-fed beef because the animals are allowed

to move freely and eat a more natural diet. There is also some evidence that grass-fed beef is

healthier than grain-fed beef for the humans who consume it: it is higher in cancer fighting,

vitamin-A producing beta-carotene; it is much lower in fat, including having half the saturated

Comment [SL7]: This is a great paragraph, but it could be
stronger with the use of sources supporting and reinforcing
these ideas.

Comment [SL8]: This is a good use of a signal phrase, but it
would also be helpful to indicate what position Brian Palmer
holds so that the audience can understand why his input is
relevant. Is he a scientist? A farmer? A reporter?

Sophia Pathways for College Credit – English Composition II
SAMPLE TOUCHSTONE AND SCORING

fat as grain-fed beef; and it contains many more omega-3 fatty acids, conjugated linoleic acid

(CLA), which prevents cancer growth, and vitamin E, which prevents cancer as well as heart

disease (Ruechel, 2006, p. 235). Due to the benefits of a grass-based diet, as well as the benefits

of being raised in pastures rather than feedlots, grass-fed cattle themselves tend to be healthier.

Taken altogether, grass-fed cattle production is better physically for both the cows and humans.

It is important to note that grass-fed does not inherently mean organic, which is a

separate, legal category with its own requirements. It is possible to find grain-fed beef from

cattle raised or slaughtered in inhumane conditions that is labeled “organic” because the cattle

were fed organic grain, whereas grass-fed beef may come from cattle that have been raised on

land that does not meet the requirements for organic labeling (Sager, 2008, paras.10-15).

However, in a guide to raising grass-fed cattle, Julius Ruechel (2006), notes that “Raising [cattle]

in a pasture reduces or even eliminates the use of toxic pharmaceutical pesticides to control

parasites and all but eliminates residues of high doses of antibiotics used on cattle in feedlot

conditions” (p. 236). Even though it may not always be organic, choosing grass-fed beef reduces

or eliminates many of the environmental and ethical concerns raised by factory farming.

Grass-fed beef also comes with some benefits to the environment. As noted earlier, most

grain-fed beef relies on environmentally damaging mono-cropping. This problem is not an issue

with grass-fed beef, which relies primarily on forage and does not require the same crop to be

planted year after year. Further, if the grass-fed beef that one eats comes from local farms and

ranches, it lessens the environmental impact, whereas the long-distance shipping required by

factory farming practices consumes fossil fuels, which contribute to global warming. Lappé

(2010) explains the massive effects that industrial food production has on the environment,

noting that throughout the life cycle of production, processing, distribution, consumption, and

Comment [SL9]: I wasn’t sure how the information in this
paragraph was relevant, but you do a good job of
demonstrating it here. You could make these links a bit
clearer in the earlier parts of this paragraph.

Sophia Pathways for College Credit – English Composition II
SAMPLE TOUCHSTONE AND SCORING

waste, our food chain may be responsible for as much as a third of the factors causing global

climate change (p. 11). However, as Pollan (2002) argues by the end of his essay, farms which

focus on traditional agricultural practices are both more humane and more environmentally

friendly than CAFOs. Ultimately, food decisions should be made with an eye to sustainability

and humane treatment, ethical stances that are both supported by local farms focused on

sustainable diversity.

Despite grass-fed beef scoring better on an environmental impact level than grain-fed

beef, it is still not perfect, a fact that highlights the problems of eating beef at all if one is

concerned with environmental ethics. Most notably, to assuage Americans’ rapacious appetites

for beef, landowners in South America often clear cut rainforest in order to create grazing land.

“The realities of the global market are a great temptation to many: Where land is cheap and the

demand for grass-fed cattle is on the rise, the local economy may respond by cutting down a

forest to create pasture or by planting grass where millet or rice has been grown” (Sager, 2008,

para. 21). This practice has negative environmental impacts on the local landscape and the planet

as a whole, since losing vast swathes of rainforest increases the amount of carbon dioxide in our

atmosphere, contributing to ozone depletion. In their article for Science magazine, scholars

Molly Brown and Christopher Funk (2008) examine how climate change will affect food

security and find that people in the developing world are at particular risk for a lack of food due

to climate change. Mono-cropping and mono-grazing practices, designed to snag American

dollars in the short term and not to sustain the local population in the long term, will only

exacerbate these effects (p. 580–81). Furthermore, the rise in the market for grass-fed beef has

meant that much grass-fed beef is shipped to the U.S. from South America and Australia. Even if

these animals are raised in a humane and sustainable manner, the long distances they travel to

Comment [SL10]: This is a very good introduction to the
counter-arguments.

Sophia Pathways for College Credit – English Composition II
SAMPLE TOUCHSTONE AND SCORING

reach American bellies has significant, negative environmental impact, again due to the use of

fossil fuels (Sager, 2008, para. 21). This reinforces the importance of buying beef which has

been locally produced, reducing the impact of long-distance shipping and potential mono-grazing

in other countries.

No matter how ethically sourced, one can still identify some serious ethical problems

with the raising and slaughter of beef, and those ethical quandaries are passed on to consumers.

While grass-fed beef is clearly an ethical improvement over grain-fed beef in terms of humane

treatment and potentially in terms of environmental impact, “No matter how you slice it, eating

beef will never be the greenest thing you do in a day. Scientists at Japan’s National Institute of

Livestock and Grassland Science estimate that producing 1 kilogram of beef emits more

greenhouse gas than driving 155 miles” (Palmer, 2010, para. 2). A kilogram of beef is about the

equivalent of two generously sized rib-eye steaks. Multiply this by the amount of beef consumed

by Americans in a year and the impact of these greenhouse gasses cannot be ignored. However,

as compelling as this argument is, it is not reasonable to expect that Americans will stop eating

beef altogether. In the short term, Americans need to eat humanely raised, locally sourced, grass-

fed beef, which will ultimately lessen the ethical and environmental consequences.

If consumers are truly concerned about the ethical treatment of animals and the

environmental impact of agricultural production, then the logical action is to stop eating meat

altogether. If Americans are not willing to do this, then the next best action is to focus on

humanely raised, locally sourced, grass-fed beef, while acknowledging that this may affect our

beef consumption at many levels. Pollan (2002) concludes his essay by acknowledging that more

humane treatment of animals would likely cause higher prices and lower consumption. However,

he states, “maybe when we did eat animals, we’d eat them with the consciousness, ceremony and

Comment [SL11]: Excellent. I like that you have two
paragraphs addressing the counter-arguments, one focused
on environment and one focused on ethics. This parallels
your discussion nicely.

Comment [SL12]: How could you change the wording to
make it less dismissive of the counter-arguments?

Sophia Pathways for College Credit – English Composition II
SAMPLE TOUCHSTONE AND SCORING

respect they deserve” (para. 82). This emphasis on the respect for and well-being of the animals

cultivated for food benefits both the animals and the consumer, acknowledging the desire to be

true omnivores while satisfying our need for ethical clarity.

Comment [SL13]: Very good concluding statement!

Sophia Pathways for College Credit – English Composition II
SAMPLE TOUCHSTONE AND SCORING

References

Brown, M., & Funk, C. (2008). Food security under climate change. Science, 319

(5863), 580-581. doi: 10.1126/science.1154102

Cook, C. (2004). Diet for a dead planet: How the food industry is killing us. New York,

NY: New Press.

Davis, C., & Lin, B.H. (2005). Factors affecting U.S. beef consumption. Retrieved from

https://www.ers.usda.gov/publications/pub-details/?pubid=37389.

Grandin, T. & Smith. G. (2004). Animal welfare and humane slaughter. Grandin.com.

Retrieved from http://www.grandin.com/references/humane.slaughter.html

Lappé, A. (2010). Diet for a hot planet: The climate crisis at the end of your fork. New

York, NY: Bloomsbury.

Palmer, B. (2010, December 21). Pass on grass: Is grass-fed beef better for the

environment? Slate. Retrieved from

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/the_green_lantern/2010/12/pa

ss_ on_grass.htm

Pollan, M. (2002, November 10). An animal’s place. The New York Times. Retrieved

from http://www.nytimes.com/2002/11/10/magazine/an-animal-s-place.html

Ruechel, J. (2006). Grass-fed Cattle: How to produce and market natural beef. North

Adams, MA. Storey Publishing.

Sager, G. (2008). Where’s your beef from?: Grass-fed Beef: Is it green, humane and

healthful? Natural Life Magazine. Retrieved from

http://www.naturallifemagazine.com/0812/grass-fed_beef_green_humane_healthful.htm

Sophia Pathways for College Credit – English Composition II
SAMPLE TOUCHSTONE AND SCORING

Reflection Questions:

1. Provide one example of a place where you have used rhetorical appeals or source
material to support your argument. How does this enhance your essay? (2-3 sentences)

One place I was able to use source material throughout my essay, but I think the part where I
included the statistic about how producing 1 kilogram of beef emits more greenhouse gas
than driving 155 miles. This helps enhance my essay because it puts the information into
perspective for the reader in terms of how much the production of meat can affect our
environment.

2. Touchstone 4 is a revision of this draft. What kind of feedback would be helpful for you

as you revise? Are there parts of your draft that you’re uncertain of? (3-4 sentences)

I think a fresh set of eyes will certainly be beneficial to ensure I come up with the best draft
possible. Sometimes, I can “get in my own head” about my writing and am not able to see
the big picture as easily. An objective critique of the essay is going to be much appreciated
and will help me immensely.

Sophia Pathways for College Credit – English Composition II
SAMPLE TOUCHSTONE AND SCORING

Research Essay Draft Rubric and Feedback

Rubric
Category

Feedback Score
(acceptable, needs
improvement etc.)

Argument
Development
and Support

Your thesis statement takes a specific position
on one side of a debatable issue. Try to focus it a
bit more by adding a bit more detail to it. The
details you provide are primarily relevant and
support your main idea. You consistently use
logical reasoning and source material to support
your argument effectively throughout your essay.

34/40

Research

You reference a number of credible, outside
sources effectively, using quotation, paraphrase,
and summary. You primarily incorporate these
sources smoothly into your discussion. You could
fine-tune some of your signal-phrasing in your
next draft. There is a good balance between
original writing and outside sources.

25/30

Organization You have a great start on the organization of
your paper. You have a thesis, an adequate
number of paragraphs with topic sentences, and
you address counterarguments. You also have
an effective concluding paragraph. Look a bit
more closely at the organization of your
paragraphs (see notes in body of essay) to
enhance this even more.

13/15

Style

You do a great job with your word choices and
sentence structures.

4/5

Conventions There are few – if any – negligible errors in

grammar, punctuation, spelling, capitalization,
formatting, and usage.

5/5

Reflection You demonstrate thoughtful reflections, and

consistently include insights, observations, and
examples in your responses.

5/5

Overall Score and Feedback: 86/100

Touchstones are projects that illustrate your comprehension of the course material, help you refine skills, and demonstrate application of knowledge. You can

work on a Touchstone anytime, but you can’t submit it until you have completed the unit’s Challenges. Once you’ve submitted a Touchstone, it will be graded

and counted toward your final course score.

Touchstone 3.2: Draft an Argumentative Research Essay

ASSIGNMENT: Using your outline and annotated bibliography from Touchstones 1.2 and 2.2, draft a 6-8 page argumentative research essay on your

chosen topic.

As this assignment builds on Touchstone 2.2: Create an Annotated Bibliography, that Touchstone, as well as Touchstone 3.1, must be graded before

you can submit your research essay draft.

 Sample Touchstone 3

In order to foster learning and growth, all essays you submit must be newly written specifically for this course. Any recycled work will be sent back with a

0, and you will be given one attempt to redo the Touchstone.

A. Assignment Guidelines

DIRECTIONS: Refer to the list below throughout the writing process. Do not submit your Touchstone until it meets these guidelines.

1. Argumentative Thesis Statement

❒ Have you included a thesis in your introduction includes a clear, arguable stance and supporting reasons?

2. Argument Development

❒ Are all of the details relevant to the purpose of your essay?

❒ Is the argument supported using persuasive rhetorical appeals and source material (i.e., direct quotations, paraphrasing, and summary)?

❒ Is your essay 6-8 pages (approximately 1500-2000 words, not including your references or reflection question responses)? If not, which details do you

need to add or remove?

❒ Does the essay consist of at least seven paragraphs – an introduction, five body paragraphs (with at least one for the counterarguments and rebuttals),

and a conclusion? Are the body paragraphs ordered logically to strengthen the argument?

Not Submitted Submitted Scored

You can submit this Touchstone when the previous Touchstone has been
scored. SUBMIT TOUCHSTONE

 It takes 5-7 business days for a Touchstone to be graded once it’s been submitted.

UNIT 3 — TOUCHSTONE 3.2: Draft an Argumentative Research Essay
SCORE

-/100

https://app.sophia.org/download/attachment/10039-Touchstone%203.2%20Sample

https://app.sophia.org/download/attachment/10039-Touchstone%203.2%20Sample

https://app.sophia.org/download/attachment/10039-Touchstone%203.2%20Sample

https://app.sophia.org/download/attachment/10039-Touchstone%203.2%20Sample

https://app.sophia.org/download/attachment/10039-Touchstone%203.2%20Sample

javascript:void(0);

javascript:void(0);

https://app.sophia.org/spcc/english-composition-ii

❒ Do your topic sentences make original and supportable points? Do your topic sentences directly support your thesis statement?

3. Research

❒ Have you introduced, contextualized, and cited outside sources effectively using quotation, summary, and paraphrase techniques?

❒ Are the sources incorporated smoothly, providing the reader with signal phrases and context for the source information?

❒ Have you referenced a range of at least 7 credible sources, and does each source have at least one in-text citation in the essay?

❒ Have you properly cited your sources according to APA style guidelines?

❒ Have you included an APA style reference page below your essay?

4. Reflection

❒ Have you answered all reflection questions thoughtfully and included insights, observations, and/or examples in all responses?

❒ Are your answers included on a separate page below the main assignment?

B. Reflection

DIRECTIONS: Below your assignment, include answers to all of the following reflection questions.

. Provide one example of a place where you have used rhetorical appeals or source material to support your argument. How does this enhance your

essay? (2-3 sentences)

. Touchstone 4 is a revision of this draft. What kind of feedback would be helpful for you as you revise? Are there parts of your draft that you’re

uncertain of? (3-4 sentences)

C. Rubric

  Advanced (100%) Proficient (85%) Acceptable (75%) Needs
Improvement (50%)

Non-Performance
(0%)

Argument
Development and
Support (40 points)

Provide a clear argument
with sufficient support.

The argument is thoroughly
developed with highly relevant
details to support it, including
the use of rhetorical appeals
and source material.

The argument is well-
developed with relevant
details to support it, including
the use of rhetorical appeals
and source material.

The argument is not fully
developed; while it is
supported by some
relevant details, including
rhetorical appeals and
source material, some
aspects of the argument
are neglected.

The argument is poorly
developed with irrelevant
details that frequently distract
from the argument; there is
little evidence of the use of
rhetorical appeals and/or
source material.

The argument is not
developed and/or the
composition is not
argumentative; details are
irrelevant and distract from
the argument.

Research (30 points)

Incorporate sources
through effective
quotations, paraphrases,
and summaries.

Cites all outside sources
appropriately; incorporates
credible sources smoothly and
effectively through direct
quotation, paraphrase, or
summary.

Primarily cites outside sources
appropriately; incorporates
credible sources effectively
through direct quotation,
paraphrase, or summary.

Generally cites outside
sources appropriately;
incorporates credible
sources adequately
through direct quotation,
paraphrase, or summary.

Cites outside sources, but
most are cited improperly;
incorporates sources through
direct quotation, paraphrase,
or summary, but the integration
is not smooth and/or the
credibility of the sources is
unclear.

Does not cite sources, or
citation is consistently
inappropriate; does not
reference sources and/or
sources are not credible or
appropriate.

Organization (15
points)

Includes all of the required
components of an
argumentative research paper,

Includes all of the required
components of an
argumentative research paper,

Includes nearly all of the
required components of an
argumentative research

Includes most of the required
components of an
argumentative research paper,

Lacks several or all of the
components of an
argumentative research

  Advanced (100%) Proficient (85%) Acceptable (75%) Needs
Improvement (50%)

Non-Performance
(0%)

Exhibit competent
organizational writing
techniques.

including an introduction with
relevant and engaging
background information and an
argumentative thesis, an
adequate number of body
paragraphs with topic
sentences, a body paragraph
addressing counterargument(s),
and a conclusion with a
concluding statement.

including an introduction with
background information, an
argumentative thesis, an
adequate number of body
paragraphs with topic
sentences, a body paragraph
addressing
counterargument(s), and a
conclusion with a concluding
statement.

paper; however, one
component is missing.

but is lacking two components;
sequences ideas and
paragraphs such that the
connections between ideas
(within and between
paragraphs) are sometimes
unclear and the reader may
have difficulty following the
progression of the argument.

paper; sequences ideas and
paragraphs such that the
connections between ideas
(within and between
paragraphs) are often unclear
and the reader has difficulty
following the progression of
the argument.

Style (5 points)

Establish a consistent,
informative tone and
make thoughtful stylistic
choices.

Demonstrates thoughtful and
effective word choices, avoids
redundancy and imprecise
language, and uses a wide
variety of sentence structures.

Demonstrates effective word
choices, primarily avoids
redundancy and imprecise
language, and uses a variety
of sentence structures.

Demonstrates generally
effective style choices, but
may include occasional
redundancies, imprecise
language, poor word
choice, and/or repetitive
sentence structures.

Frequently includes poor word
choices, redundancies,
imprecise language, and/or
repetitive sentence structures.

Consistently demonstrates
poor word choices,
redundancies, imprecise
language, and/or repetitive
sentence structures.

Conventions (5 points)

Follow conventions for
standard written English.

There are only a few, if any,
negligible errors in grammar,
punctuation, spelling,
capitalization, formatting, and
usage.

There are occasional minor
errors in grammar,
punctuation, spelling,
capitalization, formatting, and
usage.

There are some significant
errors in grammar,
punctuation, spelling,
capitalization, formatting,
and usage.

There are frequent significant
errors in grammar, punctuation,
spelling, capitalization,
formatting, and usage.

There are consistent
significant errors in grammar,
punctuation, spelling,
capitalization, formatting, and
usage.

Reflection (5 points)

Answer reflection
questions thoroughly
and thoughtfully.

Demonstrates thoughtful
reflection; consistently includes
insights, observations, and/or
examples in all responses,
following or exceeding
response length guidelines.

Demonstrates thoughtful
reflection; includes multiple
insights, observations, and/or
examples, following response
length guidelines.

Primarily demonstrates
thoughtful reflection, but
some responses are
lacking in detail or insight;
primarily follows response
length guidelines.

Shows limited reflection; the
majority of responses are
lacking in detail or insight, with
some questions left
unanswered or falling short of
response length guidelines.

No reflection responses are
present.

D. Requirements

The following requirements must be met for your submission to be graded:

• Composition must be 6-8 pages (approximately 1500-2000 words, not including your references or reflection question responses).

• Double-space the composition and use one-inch margins.

• Use a readable 12-point font.

• All writing must be appropriate for an academic context.

• Composition must be original and written for this assignment.

• Plagiarism of any kind is strictly prohibited.

• Submission must include your name, the name of the course, the date, and the title of your composition.

• Include all of the assignment components in a single file.

• Acceptable file formats include and x.

• Your annotated bibliography must be graded before your research essay draft will be accepted.

E. Additional Resources

The following resources will be helpful to you as you work on this assignment:

. Purdue Online Writing Lab’s APA Formatting and Style Guide

a. This site includes a comprehensive overview of APA style, as well as individual pages with guidelines for specific citation types.

. Frequently Asked Questions About APA Style

a. This page on the official APA website addresses common questions related to APA formatting. The “References,” “Punctuation,” and “Grammar and

Writing Style” sections will be the most useful to your work in this course.

. APA Style: Quick Answers—References

a. This page on the official APA Style website provides numerous examples of reference list formatting for various source types.

About Contact Us Privacy Policy Terms of Use

© 2023 SOPHIA Learning, LLC. SOPHIA is a registered trademark of SOPHIA Learning, LLC.

https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/apa_style/apa_formatting_and_style_guide/general_format.html

https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/apa_style/apa_formatting_and_style_guide/general_format.html

https://apastyle.apa.org/learn/faqs/index?_ga=2.108387778.1714049845.1568211418-1848442951.1567702038

https://apastyle.apa.org/learn/faqs/index?_ga=2.108387778.1714049845.1568211418-1848442951.1567702038

https://apastyle.apa.org/learn/quick-guide-on-references?_ga=2.35495777.1714049845.1568211418-1848442951.1567702038

https://apastyle.apa.org/learn/quick-guide-on-references?_ga=2.35495777.1714049845.1568211418-1848442951.1567702038

https://www.sophia.org/about

https://www.sophia.org/about

https://www.sophia.org/contact-us

https://www.sophia.org/contact-us

https://www.sophia.org/privacy

https://www.sophia.org/privacy

https://www.sophia.org/terms

https://www.sophia.org/terms

https://app.sophia.org/home

https://app.sophia.org/home